The Journal of Racetrack Higgins
by Braids21
Summary: [COMPLETED!][slash] Race's journal about his everyday life and his relationship with Spot. Ch 26 Miles Apart [It's finished!]
1. Ch 1 First entry

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N - WEE! New slash fic from me! Race/Spot rules! Hehe... onto the story  
  
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12/4/03  
  
Hello. The name's Anthony 'Racetrack' Higgins. My mom is making me write in this stupid journal because she says that I bottle up my emotions and I need to write them down. I think she's wrong, but oh well.  
  
I guess I should tell ya a little bit about myself. I'm eighteen, and a senior at Toms River Highschool North, home of the Mariners. I love gambling. I'm the poker champ of my friends... I can whip their asses any day.  
  
In a high school filled with cliques, me and my friends don't really fit in. We found each other freshman year, and just stuck together. We have many people in our group, but my best friends are Bobby 'Spot' Conlon, Jack Kelly, Steve 'Blink' Parker, Dave 'Mush' Myers, and Erik 'Skittery' Matthews.  
  
Oh, and another major thing. I've never had a girlfriend, lus, never been kissed. But really, I don't mind the not-being-kissed part, 'cuz I've come to the conclusion that I am gay. I haven't told a soul and this is the first time that I'm actually writing it down. But being gay isn't even the problem.  
  
The problem is that I like my best friend, Spot.  
  
Now, Spot is the biggest player of them all. He's had more girls than I can count.  
  
We've known each other for practically forever. He's lived down the road from me since we were nine, so naturally we are the best of friends.  
  
Being best friends means we tell each other everything. He was the first person to know my parents split up last year. He was the first person to know my dog of twelve years died. Basically, he's the first person to know anything about me. He also confides in me, seeing as I am the only person who knows that his dad used to abuse him when he was young.  
  
Every morning, he picks me up and we drive to school. I would drive, but I don't have a car. I love those ten minutes or so of one-on-one conversations, because that's basically the only 'alone' time we get, other than online. The only problem is that on Mondays, the conversation in the car is normally about his 'weekend escapades' and how I need a girlfriend, to which I just smile and nod.  
  
Then, school comes. It majorly sucks. My high school is very overcrowded, with 2,500 students and 650 in my class alone. And as I said before, it's very cliquey.  
  
There are very few exceptions of when school doesn't suck. Lunch is one of them. Sixth period lunch with me, Spot, Jack, and Skitts. This is the one time that I am happy that North is overcrowded. Anyone who has a car can leave campus for lunch.  
  
Our normal place to go is Burger King. We've had some fun times there. I still remember perfectly what happened one day last February. Skitts was bringing our tray of burgers and four cokes to our table. And being the clumsy-ass he is, tripped over his own two feet, spilling our entire tray all over a football player and his girlfriend. The looks on their faces, especially the girl's, were priceless!  
  
Another none-sucky part of school is history class. My teacher, Mr. Citta, lets us get away with anything. We hardly ever do work, and all our tests are always open-book. Me, Spot, Blink and Mush are in that class together, which means we goof off constantly. It's only December and Citta is already annoyed at us.  
  
Last week, Citta was 'trying' to lecture us on the Spanish-American War, but whenever he said the word 'war' all four of us started shouting, "WAR! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!" and repeating it over and over. Eventually, the whole class joined in. Citta tried to quiet us, but finally gave up and joined in. Ya gotta love a teacher like that. And plus, we don't have any of those stuck-up, snobby bitches or cocky jocks in that class, and it's the last period of the day, so its great.  
  
...Not to mention Spot's in it with me...  
  
Well, now would be a good time to tell ya how I realized I like Spot. I think I noticed I like Spot the same time I realized I was gay, back in sophomore year.  
  
I never really 'liked' anyone before because girls didn't interest me. Sure, I made up stories of who I liked and agreed with the guys when a hot girl passed us, but only so they wouldn't suspect.  
  
Like I said, me and Spot are best friends, so that means constant togetherness, numerous inside jokes, and countless parties. Over the course of sophomore year, my crush on Spot grew. Sometimes, I'd purposely look directly at Spot during our conversations just to see those gorgeous blue eyes. And his shortness? What can I say... I have a thing for shortness. Must be cause I'm short, too.  
  
During the summer months, I have to control myself not to stare at him constantly. Because I live at the shore, during the summer, we live at the beach. That means shirtless Spot running around playing volleyball (our favorite activity on the beach.) It's a miracle that my friends don't put two and two together, since they've caught me staring countless times. I always make up bullshit excuses, but this one time imparticular, I was at a loss for words.  
  
Spot had just made an awesome save and looked so hot doing it, that I didn't realize I was staring until the ball smacked me right in the head. Apparently, everyone was shouting 'Race! Get the ball!' but I didn't respond. Needless to say, I turned bright red.  
  
I've thought of telling him many times, and have almost done it once. But I chickened out. What would he think of me? Would he completely freak out and be disgusted at me? Would he be accepting? I don't want this to ruin our friendship, since it means everything to me. But sooner or later, I gotta tell him. It's killing me to keep my feelings hidden.  
  
...I guess my mom is right that I bottle my emotions. And this journal ain't that stupid. Maybe it will help me.  
  
Well that's it for now. Maybe I'll write more later.  
  
-Racetrack  
  
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A/N - Woohoo!! How did ya like it? I'm not sure if I should continue it and add more entries or just leave it how it is... Leave ur opinion in ur review, please!  
  
oh, and by the way, this story contains so things that actually happened... Citta is my history teacher (great, I kno!) And the "war" thing happened in class... Funniest day ever! Also, I was in Burger King when someone spilled their tray on the guy and his girlfriend.  
  
Ok, time to review!! To anyone who does, you get a video of Shirtless!Spot playing volleyball!! hehe.... REVIEW!!!  
  
~Braids 


	2. Ch 2 Bad day

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N - I UPDATED!! I know, I said Friday, and it's Thursday... sue me! lol... Here ya are...  
  
***************************************  
  
"It's been a bad day, another bad day and I cross my heart and hope to die" ~ Bad Days, Something Corporate  
  
12/12/03  
  
Today sucked. I knew it was gonna suck from the moment I woke up. I stubbed my toe on my bed, spilt cereal on my favorite shirt, and realized I forgot to read Hamlet for an essay test today. Plus, I'm sick.  
  
Spot picked up on my bad vibe as soon as I got into his car.  
  
"Higgins... ya feelin' alright? You're not talkin' today."  
  
"What? Huh? Oh yeah... I'm not in a good mood today, that's all"  
  
"Oh.. Well, cheer up! It's Friday, Higgins! No school for two whole days!"  
  
I tried to smile but I just had a gut feeling that this day would end in disaster. But when I looked up and saw his smiling face, I immediately got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had come to know.  
  
"Um.. Thanks, Spot."  
  
"No problemo. That's what friends are for!"  
  
I smiled, but was thinking to myself, if only we could be more that just friends.  
  
"Now all we have to do to make you completely happy is to get you a girl..."  
  
I groaned loudly and Spot stopped mid sentence  
  
"What?"  
  
"Spot, how many times have I told you, STAY. OUT. OF. MY. PERSONAL LIFE!"  
  
"God, I was just tryin' to help. Don't go ballistic on me."  
  
By that time, we were at the school, in the parking lot. He shut off the engine, got out, and slammed the door.  
  
"Oh shit.. What did I do now?" I cursed myself.  
  
I scrambled out of the car as fast as I could and tried to call him, but lucky me, Spot had parked right near a patch of ice. I fell right on my ass. Everyone around me started laughing at me. I felt my face turn bright red. I got up as quickly as I could and ran inside.  
  
Yup, I told you that my day would suck! But school hadn't even started yet.  
  
As usual, everyone was crowded around Jack's locker. They greeted me as I walked toward them. I went straight to Spot and apologized.  
  
"Sorry for overreacting."  
  
"It's ok, Race. I was only trying to help."  
  
"I know you are."  
  
"Hey guys!" Jack bellowed out. "Who wants to go to the movies tonight?"  
  
"Depends on the movie" Skittery said  
  
"How bout Honey? Jessica Alba is HOT!" Spot suggested.  
  
We all agreed. I really didn't wanna go, but I thought it would be fun.  
  
"Ok, then. Tonight, Seven pm, Seacourt theater. Be there. Bring whoever ya want!" Jack said.  
  
...Oh great. Everyone's gonna have their girl. And Spot will be makin' it with his girl-of-the-week in the back row. I shoulda guessed. Movies always turn into this, with me left alone. Bad day yet again....  
  
Then the warning bell rang, signaling five minutes till first period. And it dawned on my that I still haven't read Hamlet, and Grill's English class was in five minutes! I totally bombed it. I needed at least a B to avoid a progress report, but of course, my luck, I get a D.  
  
Third period Calc was a disaster. Pop quiz... Failed that too.  
  
Finally, sixth lunch came. BK time! We all packed into Spot car and (illegally) drove off. I was totally silent throughout the entire ride, even though everyone else was talking a mile a minute. Spot noticed again when he looked through his rearview mirror, but I shot him a look that said 'don't say anything' so he didn't.  
  
Normally, BK is great, but today, it wasn't. Ya know why? They were all talking about who they're bringing tonight. Spot was going back and forth between two girls, but eventually chose Bambi. Jack was bringing his girlfriend, Curly, and Skitts was bringing Curly's friend, Crosser. Me? I wasn't planning on bringing anyone, but of course my friends wanted to be a part of my love life. They are forcing me to bring Braids, Bambi's best friend. I've met her once or twice, but I didn't want a girl attached to my side the entire movie. I just wanted lunch to end, and finally it did.  
  
Seventh period Physics passed without incident, mainly because I slept the whole period.  
  
Citta's class, though, was actually fun! He stopped teaching already, and is giving us the next week before Winter break free, to watch movie. The movie we started today was Pirates of the Caribbean. Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp sword-fighting? I loved Citta for that... That forty minutes was the best I had all day!  
  
On the car ride home, I was silent again. Finally, Spot spoke.  
  
"Race... I'm sorry for makin' ya go with Braids tonight. I know ya said to stay outta ya personal life, but ya've been so unhappy lately, I just want to help. I can't stand to see ya like this."  
  
I looked up at him, which was a big mistake. His eyes, instead of being all hard and cold like they normally are, they were apologetic and the lightest blue I've ever seen. I must have been staring into them for a long time since Spot interrupted "Uh.. Race? Hello? We're at your house now."  
  
"Oh.. Sorry." I said, blushing. "Well, see ya tonight."  
  
"Sure. Pick ya up at 6:30?"  
  
"K. Bye"  
  
The next four hours were spent in front of the television, watching Punk'd reruns and I Love The 80s Strikes Back. Ashton Kutcher and Hal Sparks are hilarious! ...Not to mention pretty hot too...  
  
Anywho, at 6:30 sharp. Spot pulled into my driveway. I didn't want to go at all. Slowly, I got up, grabbed my money and cell, and walked out the door. I got in the car and buckled up as he drove off.  
  
"We're pickin' up Bambi and Braids at Bambi's house, k?"  
  
I nodded and plastered a fake smile on my face. But Spot knew me too well.  
  
"Race, ay know that smile looks completely fake."  
  
I actually laughed a little. "Yeah I know."  
  
"Don't do that tonight. Braids will be scared of ya!"  
  
I rolled my eyes and flipped on the radio as we pulled up to Bambi's house. The girls came rushing out of the house the second Spot shut off the engine. As they approached the car, Spot put on that smile that gets all the girls, well and me, staring and falling in love with him.  
  
Spot looked at me, pleading with me to get in the back. I again rolled my eyes and got out. As soon as Bambi was in the front, her and Spot were engaged in a full out make-out session. Me and Braids just looked at each other awkwardly for a while before I decided I had had enough of Spot. I kicked his seat and they flew apart.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt your little 'session' but some of us would like to get to the movie on time." I said, sarcastically.  
  
Spot mumbled a 'sorry' and turned on the car.  
  
We arrived at the movies and Jack, Curly, Skitts, Crosser, Blink, Mush, and their girlfriends were already there.  
  
"OK, everyone's here" Jack said as we approached them. "Let's go."  
  
"Wait! I didn't get my SnowCaps yet!" Mush yelled.  
  
We all groaned. Mush always had to have snowcaps whenever we got to a movie, no matter how long the line was. Right now, the line to the concession stand was huge.  
  
"You can get them, but we ain't waitin'!" Spot told him as we all walked away, leaving Mush alone on the line.  
  
We heard him scream down the hall, "No fair guys! Come back!"  
  
We got into the theater just as the lights dimmed. We normally sit near the front, so we walked down the aisles. Of course, I saw Spot and Bambi slip in the back row. Don't think he will see any of the movie... but I don't wanna think bout that.  
  
Anyway, Braids has been practically attached to my hip ever since we got in the car, and I was extremely uncomfortable.  
  
We sat down in the fifth row, girl-guy, girl-guy. And I, of course, hated it, since I was in between Braids and Curly, who would no doubt be attached to Jack the whole movie.  
  
During the previews, Braids made some small talk with me. I put on my 'obviously fake' smile and politely answered her questions. But when the movie started, I shushed her, saying that I wanted to watch the movie. She stayed quiet for about half the movie...  
  
Well, let me just say this about what happened... I got my first kiss. Or rather, kisses. And let me tell ya, It wasn't fun. She wouldn't stop! I kept trying to push her away, but she'd keep coming back for more! Eventually, I just gave up. After what seemed like eternity, the movie ended and the lights went up.  
  
We filed out of the movie, and Jack had to tap Spot on the back to break up his and Bambi's 'fun' in the back row. Why oh why does the object of my affections have to be such a man-slut? Don't ask me!  
  
We stopped at the bathrooms, so the girls could all go. (What is it with girls and all going to the bathroom at the same time?) As soon as the girls were gone, Skitts slapped me on the back.  
  
"Congrats, my man on your first ever hook-up!"  
  
And everyone proceeded to congratulate me. I was thinking to myself the entire time, When is this day gonna be over?  
  
Spot just smirked at me and said, "Finally! My work has paid off! So, are you two an item or was this just a one-time thing?"  
  
"I.. Umm.. No clue." I managed to get out.  
  
Thank god the girls piled out of the bathroom then. We walked out to the parking lot and I got in the backseat of Spot's car. I basically ignored everyone in the car, telling them I didn't feel good. I only realized we were at my house when Spot screamed in my ear. I mumbled a quick goodbye and got out.  
  
As soon as I got inside my house, my mom started yelling at my on how I left my dinner dishes out and that my room looks like shit. Being in the extreme pissy mood I was in, I cursed her off. That got me grounded all of winter break.  
  
Wasn't that just a terrific day?  
  
-Racetrack  
  
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A/N - 2nd chapter done! Sorry that I didn't get it out when I had promised! Oh well... newayz..  
  
Shout outs!! THANK YOU GUYS!!! You all get the Shirtless!Spot playin volleyball videos! And T-R-Us, I didn't forget you! You get a Shirtless!Race video!! Hehe  
  
Nakaia Aidan-sun  
  
T-R-Us  
  
Saturday  
  
Studentnumber24601  
  
Danielle  
  
Inquisitive  
  
SparkyConlon  
  
BitterSweetDragon  
  
SpecsGlasses  
  
Ok, Review time!!!!!  
  
~Braids 


	3. Ch 3 New Year's Party

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N - YEAH! I'm actually getting it out in time for New Year's! lol.. On with the story!  
  
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12/19/03  
  
No more school for two whole weeks! WooHoo! This vacation is gonna rock! ...except for the fact that I am GROUNDED the entire break! Grrr don't like my mommy...  
  
ANYWAYS.. I'm trying to convince my mom to let me go to Jack's New Year's Party. One main reason is that it's just gonna be the guys. Bambi will be in Florida, Curly in Michigan, and Braids will *thankfully* be on a cruise.  
  
...God that girl is SO annoying! She thinks that we are going out! She follows me EVERYWHERE, and leaves like twenty million voice mails and texts on my cell. She can't take the hint that I'm not interested. And of course, the guys think it's hilarious, so they're no help!  
  
Well, my mom just got home from work and she's yellin' like crazy, so I gotta go.  
  
-Race  
  
12/25/03  
  
Merry fuckin' Christmas! Ho frickin' HO.  
  
Christmas sucked, as usual. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. It hasn't felt like Christmas ever since my parents split up. My dad lives in California, so I never see him.  
  
Well, anywayz, my Christmas consisted of my mom and her latest boyfriend, Brian Denton, giggling and all that lovey-dovey crap. Denton's okay, but he always wears these hideous bow ties. So yeah... that was my Christmas. Sucky, ain't it?  
  
Ahh, again my mother is yelling for me, but this time it's to watch It's A Wonderful Life... later!  
  
-Race  
  
12/27/03  
  
I finally convinced my mom to let me go to Jack's! YES!! I haven't seen or talked to Spot in EIGHT days cuz my computer is restricted! Well, nothing much has been happening here... just wanted to say that I can go!  
  
-Race  
  
1/1/04  
  
I am still in shock... WHY did I do that? Here's the story...  
  
I arrived at Jack's HUGE house. He lives on Vincenzo Drive, which is where the most elite and hugest houses are in TR. Most of the guys were already there. We were only waiting on Spot and Blink.  
  
Blink came in when we were all trading stories about our holiday, like what gifts we got, whose Christmas sucked the most, etc. Then Spot arrived, fashionable late, carrying a few cases of beer.  
  
"I brought the goods!" Spot yelled as he entered the room. We all cheered. Boy, did I need a beer. I grabbed one and basically chugged the bottle.  
  
Needless to say, within an hour or so, we were all pretty smashed. Mush was all giddy and couldn't stop laughing, Blink was singing Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs, Skitts and Snitch were having a burping contest, Specs and Dutchy were 'trying' to have a staring contest, but kept breaking it within a few seconds, and Jack was trying to say the alphabet backwards, but always messed up on Q. I had started a poker game, and Spot, Swifty, Bumlets, and Pie Eater were all playing. How I still wound up winning totally drunk, I have no idea. But I busted them all ten bucks a piece!  
  
I don't know whose idea it was, but someone shouted, "Hey guys! Let's play 'Truth or Dare'!"  
  
Everyone, being in the state of mind that we were in, eagerly decided to play. I never have liked that game and normally would have sat out, but dumb me, played.  
  
...worst decision I ever made...  
  
The game got underway, with mostly stupid dares, like jumping in Jack's pool (Mush wasn't so giddy after that... it's FREEZING in Jersey!), but then it was my turn. Again, stupid me, I pick 'dare.'  
  
Skitts smirked at me and said, "I dare you to kiss Spot."  
  
My face paled as everyone went into laughing fits. I quickly glance at Spot, whose face is unreadable.  
  
My mind was going a mile a minute... What do I do? I can't not do it! Why did he have to pick SPOT of all people? Any other guy wouldn't have been so hard! But now I *finally* get to kiss Spot! OMG, what if he realizes... Nah, he won't. I'll just do a quick peck and be over with it.  
  
Skitts pulls me outta my thoughts by asking me, "Ya gonna do ya dare soon, or do we gotta wait for 2004?"  
  
I nodded slowly and turned toward Spot. Spot nods at me too, but adds, "Make it quick."  
  
I know I was starting to sweat as I leaned into Spot.  
  
As our lips touched, I felt an explosion in my mind and got goose bumps all over my arms. Don't ask me why, but I deepened the kiss. To my surprise, Spot actually started to kiss back. It wasn't until I tried to add my tongue that he abruptly pushed me back and brought me back into reality.  
  
"What the fuck was that all about?" Spot yelled, wiping his mouth, sounding totally disgusted.  
  
"Oh shit...." I weakly said. "Oh fuck, oh shit.. I'm.. I'm sorry..."  
  
...Leave it to me to babble like an idiot.  
  
"Oh. My. GOD. It all makes sense now! No girlfriends, not wanting help in your personal life... you.. You're fuckin' QUEER!" Spot said, backing away from me, wide-eyed.  
  
I looked up at him, trying to hold back my tears. Seeing this, Spot turned toward Jack and said, "I'm outta here," grabbed his coat was out the door.  
  
All eyes were on me now. I could feel them all boring a hole in my head, all around me.  
  
"So..um.. You really gay?" Specs asked, breaking the silence.  
  
I nodded meakly.  
  
"Oh good.... We're not the only ones."  
  
...WHAT? We're?!?!?!  
  
It looked like everyone else was thinking the same thing as we all turned to face Specs.  
  
"What? You're gay too? And may I ask why you said 'we're'," Skitts asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm gay. Me and Dutchy have been together since July."  
  
Everyone's jaw dropped, including my own. Five months and I didn't see it? Well, they aren't part of my closest friends, but still.. ya think I'd notice of all people.  
  
But thank God for Specs, because he got the attention off of me for a while.  
  
In the middle of Specs's explanation of how they hooked up, Blink yelled, "It's five minutes till 2004!"  
  
We all huddled around the TV, watching the ball drop in Times Square, and counted down. Five... Four... Three... Two... ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
  
I turned around just in time to see Specs give Dutchy a kiss. My heart dropped, thinking of Spot, and how he probably hated me and never want to see me again.  
  
A little after this, Skitts came up to me.  
  
"Race... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for that dare. I would never intentionally hurt you like that. I had no idea."  
  
"It's ok Skitts. You did have no idea."  
  
We stood there, awkwardly for a few minutes, then he turned and went to join Snitch watching TV.  
  
The rest of the night passed without any more incidents, because basically, we all passed out.  
  
...Which brings me to right now. MAJOR hangover, broken heart, broken spirit, pissed at myself for doing the unspeakable. Remind me NEVER to drink beer again.  
  
And according to sayings, How you spend New Year's Eve is how you're gonna spend the next year. [1] What a great year to come!  
  
-Racetrack  
  
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[1] From the New Year's episode of The O.C. LUFFLE that show!  
  
A/N - YIPEE! Another chapter done! And I added some Specs/Dutchy -ness to it! Hehe.. And now I know you all are gonna kill me for making Spot a bastard, but OH WELL!! lol....  
  
THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING!!!  
  
Onto the SHOUTOUTS!  
  
BitterSweetDragon - I'm glad you liked it! :) :huggles:  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun - LOL! Loved your review! :huggles:  
  
LiamsKitten - YAY! You reviewed!! Hehe.. Of course I put myself in it!... what would you expect? Lol Thanks! :huggles!:  
  
T-R-US - Thanks for the review! Sorry to take so long to get it up!! :huggles:  
  
Inquisitive - Thank you! I luffle you! :huggles:  
  
SpecsGlasses - hehe... you'll find out what happens soon enuff! Thanks for the review! :huggles!:  
  
Strawberri Shake - I luffle SnowCap!Mush! (Mainly b/c he's modeled after ME! I do that!!) Glad you liked it! :Huggles:  
  
Saturday - Thank you! You rock too!! :huggles:  
  
REVIEW TIME!!  
  
Okie dokies, I'm outies!!  
  
~Braids 


	4. Ch 4 Was it just me?

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N - YEAH gettin it out in time! (Actually, not completely... This was only supposed to be part of it... but I thought, better to get a lil up by my goal then none!) So yeah, I'm a little behind... Blame school... Here goes!  
  
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1/5/04  
  
First day of school back from vacation. Do I even have to bother saying it sucked? The getting up early, going to classes, hearing teachers drone on and on, getting homework, etc, etc. It seems like teachers WANT to torture us by giving us shitloads of homework!  
  
... And then, the Braids incident.  
  
Well, she was still all over me at the locker in the morning. So I pulled her aside and quietly told her the truth. I was told later that was another bad decision made by yours truly.  
  
She shrieked loudly and said, "Oh my god, you're GAY? That's SOOOOO cute!"  
  
Everything stopped as the entire hallway turned and stared at me, my face bright red, and started laughing and pointing and whispering. I glared at Braids, who whispered a 'sorry' and skipped off down the hallway, her twin braids bouncing off her shoulders.  
  
Wincing slightly, I turned back toward my group of friends. Specs and Dutchy gave me sympathetic smiles and everyone else was trying to hold back their laughter. I glanced at Spot whose face was once again, unreadable.  
  
... Oops, forgot to say what happened between us..  
  
The day after New Year's, I had tried to call him. Because he has caller ID, every single time I tried, he always picked up and immediately hung up so I never could leave a message. I also tried IMs, but that didn't work either, since he either ignored me online or signed off right away. So I haven't been able to talk to him.  
  
Then this morning happened...  
  
I was sitting at my kitchen table, finishing up my Cocoa Puffs, all ready for my mom to drive me in (for obvious reasons), when I heard a beep coming from my driveway. To my surprise, it was Spot's '99 red Civic.  
  
Stunned, I quickly gathered my books and walked out.  
  
As I got in his car, he said "Don't think I'm over what happened. My mom is making me drive you in."  
  
I sank lower into my seat and stared forward. The car ride was completely silent, save for the radio. I didn't get the guts to say anything to him.  
  
OK, back to school now... I know, I know, out of order... SUE ME!  
  
*sue me, sue me, what can you do me.. I love you!* [1]  
  
What? hey, what kind of gay guy would I be if I didn't like musicals?  
  
ANYWAY....  
  
Well, by fourth period, more and more people were starting to stare at me and whisper as I passed. It was from the little 'incident' this morning, plus Braids, Curly told me, loves gossiping. [2] So yeah, I just wanted school to end.  
  
Finally, school ended. On the ride home, I worked up the nerve to speak.  
  
"Um.. Spot? About New Year's.. I just-"  
  
He cut me off with a glare.  
  
"Please, Spot. Just hear me out."  
  
"Fine.. Talk" Spot said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Ok.. The truth? Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I've known since sophomore year. Yes, I kissed you. Yes, I've had a crush on you for like two years. But, yes, I am also the same guy that has been your best friend for as long as I can remember. And I don't want that to change."  
  
"Think about it, Spot. When you walked into that party, you had no clue, but still you were talking and laughing with me. But after you found out, you walked out and haven't spoken to me in almost a week. That was part of the reason I never told anyone, cause I thought you would act that way. Plus, I know for a fact that there are dickheads out there who would say some pretty hurtful things... and you said some of those things to me..."  
  
"That hurt, Spot. It hurt to hear your best friend say those things. You have no idea how much it did, to have your best friend acting that way."  
  
I paused for a breather, and I heard Spot let out a small sigh, but didn't say anything. I glanced up at him, but, *surprise, surprise* he was unreadable. I continued my little 'speech.'  
  
"Yes, considering the situation I had put you in, any guy would have done that. But I promise, if we can work this out, I will never do that again. I know that you are as straight as an arrow. I will control myself, and might I add, I am pretty good at it.. hiding it for two years..."  
  
I quickly glanced up at him, and added nervously...  
  
"But it's kinda hard to control myself when the guy I like is kissing back..."  
  
Enter awkward silence.  
  
Followed by the engine being turned off. DAMN we were at my house.  
  
As I got out of the car, I was confused as ever.  
  
Was it just me, or had he winced slightly when I said he was 'as straight as an arrow'?  
  
-Racetrack  
  
**************************  
  
[1] Guys and Dolls rocks! That's our school musical this year... I didn't make it (damn directors!) But I am on crew...  
  
[2] I really am a gossiper.. Very bad habit of mine, that gets me in trouble a LOT...  
  
A/N - I LOVE the ending!! Hehehe....... OH, and to the people I always review for, sorry for not reviewing your latest updates.. My computer has a virus that wont let me get my mail or review (for some unknown reason!) As soon as it works again, I'll review anything I miss!!  
  
ANYWAY...  
  
Thank you all SOOO much for reviewing! This is my favorite story I have written so far!! (and also the only slash-chaptered fic I have!)  
  
SHOUT OUTS!!  
  
BitterSweetDragon -Truth or Dare is SO much fun! HEHE soo funny!!!!! Thanks! :hugs:  
  
SnitchLins - Thank you! I luffle you!! Hehe.. Burping contests are fun! :hugs:  
  
Nigh - Thanks for reading my story!! Glad you liked it! :hugs:  
  
SpecsGlasses - YEAH! I made your night!! Hehe.. Specs/Dutchy rules! lol.. Thanks! :hugs:  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun - SHIPOOPI!! hehe.. Thanks so much!! :Hugs:  
  
T-R-Us - Glad you liked!! I am addicted to your story! But I *#^^%$ can't review! :hugs:  
  
LiamsKitten - YES, skitts did want to torture you! lol... and don't explode! I updated! ... btw, I jus put two and two together... You like the Alanna books by Tamora Pierce, right? lol.. I LOVE them!! :hugs:  
  
StrawberriShake - Thanks!! Specs/Dutchy is SOOO cool!! :hugs:  
  
OneConfusedNewsie - Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it!! :hugs:  
  
Saturday - Thanks for the review! And yea, Race really did that!! hehe.. :hugs:  
  
Okie dokies, REVIEW!! Homemade Choco-chip cookies for everyone!!  
  
~Braids 


	5. Ch 5 Happiness

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N - okies... Short chapter! (But a good one, I promise you!) This is what was actually supposed to go after last chapter, that I hadn't finished yet.. But it's finished now! And my goal for next chapter is Monday! (Hopefully, not totally promising.. Busy weekend, sis going back to college, reports due Tuesday, crew all day Monday, etc.) so yeah.. Ok without further babblings, onto the chapter!  
  
***************************************  
  
1/9/04  
  
I officially HATE Braids. And all the damn homophobes in my school. I walk an inch without someone whispering or laughing at me.  
  
And it gets worse...  
  
For an English project, Mrs. Grill assigned partners. And lucky me, I get partnered with a bitchy cheerleader, who I heard her say to her friends, "Great, I'm stuck with that fag." Yea, that period sucked ass.  
  
Other than that, friends wise is getting better. Spot actually talks to me! I hadn't said anything more about New Year's to him. I was afraid that he would immediately start hating me again. But it was eating me alive, I gotta know why he winced and why he kissed back. So, today on the ride home, I decided I would ask him.  
  
"Spot? Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Please don't get mad at me, but this is eating me alive and I need to know... Why did you kiss back?"  
  
He sighed. "I knew you'd eventually ask me that."  
  
He took a deep breath and sighed again. "Well.. um... the reason is cause.. cause I liked it."  
  
I hadn't been looking at him, but as soon as I heard him say that, I whipped my head toward him, wide-eyed, and asked, shocked, "What?"  
  
He nodded slowly, not meeting my eyes, then continued.  
  
"And it scared me. That's why I pushed back, and then when I realized why you had kissed me, I freaked out. I was so confused. I still am confused. I just couldn't face you. I thought that having you think I hated you was better than trying to talk about it. But then Monday rolled around, and I saw Specs and Dutchy together, saw what Braids did to you... Man did I feel bad for you! Anyway.. Then your little 'speech' in the car home made me think. Especially when you said I was 'as straight as an arrow' I knew in my heart that I most likely wasn't."  
  
"Don't get me wrong... I still like girls. But.. I.. I've also started to see guys in a whole different way. I found myself staring at guy's asses in the halls. I even started to check you out! Oh god.. I did NOT just say that...."  
  
Oh. My. God... Did he just admit he thinks I'm hot? And that he's gay?  
  
"Ah... I'm just so confused right now..." Spot said, sighing for like the millionth time.  
  
I was in total shock. I never expected him to actually tell me those things. Only in my dreams did he do that.... He did lots of other things too, but let's not go there...  
  
All I could get out was, "Wow."  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
I laughed a little, and eventually Spot joined in as well. Soon we were pulling into my driveway.  
  
"Race?" Spot said, shutting off the engine. "Um.. Don't tell anyone yet. I still wanna figure out everything. Just give me some time."  
  
"Sure, Spot. Don't worry. Bye!"  
  
I walked inside feeling better that I have in a while.  
  
That brings me to now, happier than ever. And who wouldn't be, when you just found out the object of your affections might be gay and just admitted to thinking that you're hot?  
  
Later days!  
  
-Racetrack  
  
************************************  
  
A/N - YEAH! I LIKE THIS CHAPTER!! *huggles Spot*  
  
Guess what? I can get my mail! ...but sadly still can't review...  
  
A BIG thank you to ALL my reviewers! I'm so glad you all love (or hate! lol) my character of Braids. She's based off of my personality... and I probably would actually do that...  
  
Shoutouts:  
  
Saturday  
  
Harlem  
  
Flare Conlon  
  
T-R-Us  
  
OneConfusedNewsie  
  
Strawberri Shake  
  
StudentNumber24601  
  
BitterSweetDragon  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun  
  
Lil' Italy  
  
THANKS SO MUCH!!  
  
Anyway, I'm working on two things right now... the next chapter for this, and a Skitts/Snitch songfic to a Clay Aiken song... So look for those two soon!  
  
REVIEW!!  
  
~Braids 


	6. Ch 6 Snow Day!

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...  
  
A/N -WooT! 3 chapters up within a week.. That's a RECORD for me! Anywayz.. SNOW DAY! Yes! And it jus so happens that's what this chapter is about!.....  
  
***************************************  
  
1/15/04  
  
SNOW DAY! WooHoo! I LOVE snow days!! Jersey shore actually got snow! I mean, we barely EVER get some, since we live on the coast. I always hear stories on the news about how NYV got a foot, and what do we get? RAIN. NOT TODAY! Five inches of white snow!  
  
I woke up at like ten o'clock to shrieks outside. I looked out and saw Spot chasing his little sister, Hailey, around the street with a giant snow ball in his hand. Just like Spot to terrorize his six year old sister!  
  
Eventually, I got out of bed and went downstairs. My mom, I found out, had apparently woken up early, but now was asleep in front of the fire. Good... No one to tell me what to have for breakfast! So I set to work making a ham egg and bacon.  
  
Just as I finished eating, the doorbell rang. I opened the door and was bombarded in a bear hug by Hailey, who was covered in snow.  
  
"All right Hailey... I think Race is cold enough." Spot said from the door.  
  
She jumped off of me with an evil grin and went to Spot. I stood up and was just starting to say hello when Spot dumped a HUGE snowball on my head. Let me tell you... That was cold!  
  
"Spot.. You better run.. 'Cause I will KILL you!" I screamed, lunging at him, but he quickly dodged and ran outside. I followed.  
  
"SPOT! Get back here! That was- COLD FEET! COLD FEET! IT'S FRICKIN' COLD!" I said running back inside.  
  
Yup, I followed him outside, not thinking I was only in sweats and barefeet.... Not to smart, huh?  
  
"Smart, Higgins. Real smart!"  
  
"Oh go suck and elf, Conlon... I'm going upstairs to change. You best be ready when I return!"  
  
I ran upstairs, put on jeans, a T-shirt, the heaviest sweatshirt I could find, socks, and my sneakers, then ran downstairs again to put on my coat and gloves. I did this all in about five minutes, since I loved snow, but also Spot was outside waiting for me.... (by the way, nothing more had happened between us... Just talking.)  
  
Finally, I went outside. And they were no where in sight. I called out to them, but no answer.  
  
All of a sudden, I heard Spot's voice shout, "NOW!" and I became the target of snowballs once again. They ran out from behind a bush and continued their ambush on me.  
  
"That's it, Spot. YOU'RE DEAD!" I screamed as I bent down and grabbed a handful of snow and chucked it at Spot, hitting him in the head. I saw Hailey laugh at that and I got an idea.  
  
"Hey Hailey... how bout we team up and get your brother together?"  
  
She smiled brightly and came running over to me.  
  
"Hey, no fair! Hailey, your supposed to be on my side!" Spot complained.  
  
"Sorry Spot. Guess she likes me more than you!" I said, laughing as we started throwing at Spot.  
  
"If that's how ya want it, fine. This is WAR!"  
  
And that's how the Conlon vs. Higgins snow was got started.  
  
I've never had more fun in the snow than I did today. Me and Hailey mad a good team, since Spot was covered head to toe with snow. Hailey wasn't even covered that much, and she's six!  
  
Around two o'clock, Hailey got tired and she went inside. That's when the real fun started. We continued the 'war' even after she left. But now, without Hailey, I was losing!  
  
Eventually, Spot caught up to me and tackled me to the ground. After our tumble, he ended up on top of me, pinning me down.  
  
And we just stopped, both of us breathing hard, staring into each other's eyes. God, he was GORGEOUS! And then, time stopped as all my dreams cam true. He leaned forward and kissed me. And let me tell ya, fireworks definitely went off as we lay there in the snow, bodies tangled, hands roaming all over. By the time we broke apart, I was on cloud nine.  
  
"Woah." Spot said, fingering his lips.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"That was amazing." Spot said, staring at me. Then he leaned forward and caught my lips again. Shivers ran down my spine and goose bumps appeared on my arms. But it wasn't from the cold, not at all.  
  
But our fun was cut short...  
  
"Boys! Where are you? Sp- Oh my!"  
  
Oh shit! Spot's mom!  
  
We both sat up immediately, wiping our mouths, identical guilty looks on our faces.  
  
"Hey Mom."  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Conlon."  
  
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, then finally managed to figure out how to speak.  
  
"Um... There's hot chocolate inside... If you boys want some..."  
  
"We'll be right in, mom."  
  
She turned and left as we both broke into a huge fit of laughter.  
  
"Holy shit, Higgins! That was priceless! Did you see my mom's face?"  
  
"I know! It was hilarious!"  
  
Suddenly, Spot stopped laughing.  
  
"Oh my god... My mom just saw us kissing! And actually was okay with it! God, I was freaking out about what she would say! What did your mom do?  
  
Uh oh... Problem there...  
  
"Um.. I haven't actually told her yet. She's known to be a big gay basher..." I trailed off.  
  
"Don't worry, Race. I'll be here if ya ever need me."  
  
"Come on, Spot, I want some hot cocoa!"  
  
"Wait! When do ya wanna tell everyone else?"  
  
"School tomorrow?"  
  
"Not school. Haven't you learned your lesson, Higgins?"  
  
Oh yeah... I had forgotten about Braids and the 'incident.'  
  
"Yeah, School's out. Hey wait.. Isn't Blink having a party tomorrow night?"  
  
Spot's face lit up. "Yes! I cannot wait to see their faces!"  
  
"Yeah me too"  
  
"Race ya to the house!" Spot said as he dumped yet another snowball on my head.  
  
"HEY no fair!" I said, throwing snowballs at him along the way.  
  
Hot chocolate never tasted so good.  
  
This day has been heaven! I can't wait for tomorrow night!  
  
-Race  
  
**************************  
  
A/N - WooT! I LOVE this chapter! It's my favorite chappie so far!!  
  
GRR still can't review... stupid computer!  
  
THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!!  
  
Shout outs:  
  
Poker O'Shea  
  
OneConfusedNewsie  
  
Lil' Italy  
  
Shelly 'Quill' Webster  
  
Flare Conlon  
  
THANK YOU ALL!!!  
  
Okies, REVIEW TIME! You know you want too!  
  
~Braids 


	7. Ch 7 Party!

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS- Ch 7 ~Party  
  
Disclaimer: SLASH.. Don't like it? DON'T READ IT! I do not own Newsies or Race.. I DO own Braids, Bambi, Curly, and Crosser. Poker owns Poker. Anything this else is a real person (actually the people I own are real people but whatever) or real places... Got it? Good.  
  
A/N - Yay! Getting it up before I wanted to! More rambling from me afterwards.. Onto the story!  
  
******************************  
  
1/17/04  
  
Last night was AWESOME! It was so much fun! But before I go into that, school time!  
  
Because of the snow, we had a delayed opening, which mean ninety more minutes of glorious SLEEP! WooHoo!  
  
Car ride to school = YUMMY... Waking up to Spot's morning kiss is a great way to start the day, ain't it?  
  
Anywho, school was basically a waste. The teachers did nothing, because the periods are shorter, so any test or quiz I had was postponed til Monday. They gave us all free periods, which rocks.  
  
Lunch was great though. Because of the shortened periods, Spot was like, "Get your asses to my car NOW or I leave without you!" So we're all running (might I add running on ice) and Skitts lost his footing and fell, hard. We started cracking up, as well as everyone else in the parking lot at the time. And we laughed harder when he slipped again trying to get up.  
  
Then, BK. We were all talking about Blink's shindig that night. Spot squeezed my hand under the table in anticipation. Both of us still had no clue how we were gonna tell everyone and what their reactions would be. But considering how they acted toward me, Specs, and Dutchy, there was no worry. Before we knew it, we had to get back to school.  
  
The only other notable thing about school was that now Citta has a life- size cutout of Legolas standing next to his pink podium. [1] So now I will spend that period going back and forth between oogling Legolas and oogling Spot... hehe...  
  
Then, car ride home... Need I say more? I didn't want to go to my house so I didn't. Me and Spot spent a lot of 'quality time' together in his room. (For all you sick, perverted minds out there, all we did was make out.. A lot...) Then we tried to figure out how we should come out at the party. We finally agreed that we should just walk in together, holding hands, and see if anyone notices.  
  
We lost track of time, and realized it was almost nine, when the party started at seven thirty. As we pulled to a spot in front of Blink's house, Spot got nervous.  
  
"Race... I don't think I can do this."  
  
"Spot, don't worry! It will be fine. They really don't care."  
  
"I know... but.. It's me! I'm the guy that had a different girl each week! What will they say about that?"  
  
"They definitely will be shocked, but they'll get over it. Come on, let's go in."  
  
Spot reluctantly unbuckled his seat belt as I got out of the care. We walked up to the door and walked in. Everyone was down in the basement so we looked at each other, squeezed hands, and started down the stairs.  
  
As we walked down, I could see that everyone was basically there. Of course Blink was there, but also Jack, Skitts, Mush, Specs, Dutchy, Snitch, Itey, Pie, and Bumlets. Plus there was the girls. Crosser, Curly, Mush's girlfriend Poker, and Blink's girl Erika. When my eyes fell on the last girl, I froze on the stairs. No, it wasn't Braids, but it was Bambi. I took a quick glance at Spot, who was once again unreadable.  
  
"Hey everyone!" I shouted as we entered the room.  
  
"Hey look! Guess who decided to show up?" Blink greeted us.  
  
"Better late than nev-" Jack never finished his sentence. I knew without looking why. When I did look, just as I had guessed, he was staring at our hands.  
  
"Jack? Earth to Jack!" Blink said, waving his hand in front of Jack's eyes. "Come back to Earth, Jack. What's wrong?"  
  
"What?" Jack said, breaking out of his trance. "Huh? What'd you say?"  
  
"Why'd ya just stop in the middle of your sentence?"  
  
Jack looked back and forth between us and Blink for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Just as he was about to speak, Spot of all people spoke up.  
  
"I think he stopped because he saw this." Spot said quietly, picking up our hands a little bit.  
  
Everyone's faces were priceless. True, it was deathly silent and awkward, but still. Their mouth dropped practically to the floor and everyone was silent for a least a minute.  
  
"Say something guys. Anything..." I pleaded.  
  
"Um... Congratulations... I know he's a good kisser!" Poker said, winking at me, as Mush gave her a playful shove. That made me smile. I had forgotten she was one of Spot's girls a while back.  
  
"Wow. Never woulda thought Spot would turn to the 'dark side.' But hey, I never thought I would either!" Dutchy said, laughing.  
  
Spot gave my hand yet another squeeze as everyone warmed up to the idea of Spot and me together. They started asking us questions about how it happened and everything like that. What they really got a kick out of was how Spot's mom saw us Thursday in the snow.  
  
It got a little frustrating, though, when Bambi came up to us when we were sitting on the couch.  
  
"So, Spot... Has all our make-out sessions meant nothing to you?" She said as she straddled him on the chair. "Does this mean nothing?"  
  
With that, she bent down and started kissing him forcefully, with me sitting right next to him! I wanted to shoot that girl! Spot apparently did too, as he shoved her off.  
  
"Bambi, I'm sorry honey.. I just.. I'm with Race now."  
  
I smirked at her as she stalked off, humiliated.  
  
By the end of the night, nobody really even noticed that we were cuddling together and holding hands. I'm so glad my friends aren't asses like the rest of the school. I'm glad they see that me and Spot are the same people they became friends with back in freshman year.  
  
Well I guess that's about it. I'll write more later, I promise!  
  
-Racetrack  
  
***********************  
  
[1] Sadly, Citta doesn't actually have that... But the AP history teacher does! My friends are sooo lucky, they get to stare at the Legolas all period long! And yes, the AP teacher also has a pink podium too... The 3rd period class decided to paint it pink.. Don't ask why...  
  
A/N - Short chapter, not my best work, I admit it... but oh well...  
  
I hate my frickin' computer! I STILL CAN'T REVIEW and it's been almost 3 frickin WEEKS! Grrrr... sorry to rant but yeah its annoying....  
  
Shoutouts!  
  
Thanks SOO much to all of you! Last chapter was a blast to write so I'm glad you all loved it!  
  
Poker: Hey, I was just talking to you! lol... Like how I put ya in? Hehe.. And I feel special! I'm glad I went into that chat or else I never woulda imed you! Hehe... Oh! And Thanks for the review!  
  
SpecsGlasses: Thanks! *is happy that I made you tingly n giddy n happy!* hehe I AM the goddess of life! Glad you liked it!  
  
Lil' Italy: Thank you for the review! Spot's mom is cool!  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun: Thanks so much for the review! I'm really glad you liked it!  
  
BitterSweetDragon: My thoughts exactly! Thanks!  
  
Harlem: Thank you! And yes, 10th Kingdom ROCKS!  
  
Saturday: hehe I made you hyperventilate! And thanks soo much!  
  
Shelly "Quill" Webster: Awww! Thank you sooooo much! You don't know how much that meant to me!  
  
Flare Conlon: lol,, Thanks! Glad you liked it!  
  
LiamsKitten: Blood! Thank you! I love the saying 'suck an elf!' hehe and the chat was fun! The only 2 people there! lol  
  
Strawberri Shake: Snow days ROCK MY SOCKS! Thanks so much! Braids makes me mad too! (Wait, did I just say I make myself mad? Lol) Glad you liked it!  
  
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!  
  
*shameless plug time- Read my new Skittery/Snitch one-shot... More Than Friends?* hehe had to do that..  
  
Now, REVIEW!  
  
~Braids 


	8. Ch 8 Lucky

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS- Ch 8 ~ Lucky  
  
Disclaimer: SLASH.. Don't like it? DON'T READ IT! I do not own Newsies or Race. I do own Hailey though...  
  
A/N - Yay! Getting it up before I wanted to! .. okies, onto the story!  
  
******************************  
  
1/27/04  
  
Hey again... Sorry I haven't written in like a week. But not much has happening anyway. Just normal school and shit like that.  
  
Yesterday was another snow day. Another heavenly day in the snow and then hot chocolate at Spot's house. Luckily, my mom had to go to work, so I didn't have to deal with her bitching at me all day long.  
  
I swear, I can't stand her sometimes! And I know eventually I will have to tell her, but I know she will completely flip out on me. Without a doubt, she is the biggest homophobe I know. Seriously, she is. One of her employees came out to the company, and she fired him! Of course, she fired him saying they had too many people employed, but I know the real reason. She told me! "No queer is gonna work for me!" she had said.  
  
Okay, enough of me complaining about my madre.  
  
School today... blah. It's the end of the marking period, so of course, they pile all the test on you the last week. I had a Calc test today, tomorrow I have an English test on Chaucer, and a Physics test on Thursday. Friday we have a history test, but it's Citta so I ain't worried. Luckily, we don't have midterms. I'd shoot myself if we did.  
  
But the good thing is, by the looks of it, we will have another snow day tomorrow, seeing as it's already snowing pretty hard.  
  
Ah shit, my mom's home and I didn't do everything I was supposed to do. Time for yet another fight!  
  
-Racetrack  
  
1/28/04  
  
Snow day. -sarcastically- Whoop-di-frickin' do-dah-day. I almost wish we had school today... Cause it majorly sucked.  
  
The day started out fine. I woke up again to Hailey's squeals, went outside with them, and hot chocolate at Spot's.. again.. Then there was the alone time with him in his room, snogging....(British words are fun to use ain't they... ANYWAY...)  
  
While we were sitting around Spot's kitchen table, drinking the hot chocolate, Spot's mom asked me a question.  
  
"Race, have you told your mom about you and Spot yet?"  
  
I lowered my eyes, and said, "No... not yet, Mrs. Conlon."  
  
"You should soon. She will love you no matter what. I know it."  
  
"Yeah, Race, ya gotta tell her sooner or later. And sooner is better than later," Spot said.  
  
"Okay, I'll tell her tonight."  
  
"Good," Spot said, squeezing my hand. "And if ya need help, I'm right next door."  
  
Eventually, my mom called me home for dinner. And over dinner, she started the conversation from hell.  
  
"You've been spending an awful lot of time at the Conlon's house lately."  
  
My face got red and my stomach tied in knots as she said that.  
  
"Um..." was all I could get out.  
  
"Why don't you invite him over her anymore?"  
  
I sorta breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't suspect anything, but not for long, as I knew I had to tell her. I had promised Spot I would.  
  
"Mom... uh, I have to tell you something."  
  
"What is it, honey?"  
  
My heart was racing as I tried to get it out.  
  
"Um.. I.. uh.." It was now or never.. I had to say it! "I'm gay."  
  
CRASH! She dropped the bowl of spaghetti she was holding, shattering the bowl into a million pieces and spilling the contents of it all over the floor.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"Mom, I'm gay."  
  
"Did you just say you're gay? And may I ask with whom?"  
  
"Spot."  
  
"SPOT? Holy fuck, My son is a FAG with our fuckin' next door neighbor!"  
  
I cringed and almost broke down in tears when she said that. My own mother just called me that. It hurt more than I can say.  
  
"Get out."  
  
My head snapped up. "What?"  
  
"You heard me. Pack your bags and LEAVE!"  
  
"But.. you.. you can't.. I... where?.." I trailed off as I fought back tears.  
  
"You know damn well how I feel about.. your.. 'kind'." She said, disgustedly. "I will NOT tolerate it under this roof!"  
  
With all the strength I could manage, I turned and ran upstairs, collapsing in sobs on my bed. My mother, whom I had thought would love me unconditionally no matter what, had just kicked me out. Getting kicked out by your mother is the worst feeling in the world.  
  
Eventually, I picked myself up and started packing. I made a bag of some clothes, photos, my favorite things in my room, money, and my school books. Then I slowly walked downstairs, where my mom was waiting.  
  
"Key?" She said, holding out her hand.  
  
I reluctantly reached into my pocket with shaking hands, and handed my key over to her.  
  
"Good. There's the door. Go."  
  
Slowly, I wiped a tear from my eye and walked out the door, into the snow. Once outside, I took one last look at my house, then started trudging through the snow. I knew exactly where I was going.  
  
I walked up to Spot's front door, and hesitantly rang the bell. Mrs. Conlon answered.  
  
"Why, hello Race. What's wrong?"  
  
"She..she..kicked me out." I said, not being able to fight the tears in my eyes.  
  
"Oh my god... I'm so sorry." She said, as she hugged me tightly.  
  
"Can I stay here tonight?"  
  
"Of course you can. Come on it. Make yourself at home. Spot's in his room."  
  
I thanked her and walked upstairs. Spot's door was shut, but I could hear a Something Corporate song blasting. I knocked slightly.  
  
"Come in."  
  
I opened the door and walked in. Spot was lying on his bed, reading a magazine. When he saw me, he put the magazine down, and turned the music lower.  
  
"Race! What brings you he-" He stopped as I dropped my bag on the floor, and his face paled. "She didn't.. She couldn't have..."  
  
"She did." I said, plopping onto his bed, next to him.  
  
"Wow... man, I'm sorry for pushin' ya ta tell her."  
  
"Ain't your fault. It woulda happened sometime."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. But I still feel bad. But I'll be here for you." He said, sliding closer to me, linking our hands together.  
  
My heart skipped a beat as I felt a chill go up my spine when he linked our hands.  
  
"Boy, am I glad you're here, Spot. I don't know what I would do without." I said, as I started to bawl. He let me cry on his shoulder.  
  
That brings me to now. I'm in the Conlon's guest bedroom, lying in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room, but in a familiar house, surrounded by people who truly love me for who I am.  
  
I'm so lucky to have Spot right now.  
  
-Racetrack  
  
**********************  
  
A/N - *Squeals* I like how this came out! hehe...  
  
Guess what? I CAN FINALLY REVIEW!! (lol some of ya prolly already know, since I reviewed your stories!) But yay! My computer is fixed!  
  
A HUGE thank you to all my reviewers! 60 reviews! The most I've ever gotten for a story was 32! I love all of you!  
  
*Shoutouts*  
  
Lil' Italy: Aww! Thank you! I love you!  
  
TakeOneLook: It's okay, I do that ALL the time (both not signing in and not reviewing for things... hehe) Thanks!  
  
Strawberri Shake: Race is lucky, ain't he? Lol.. Bambi is EVIL! (In real like too! But not evil like that.. More like vampire evil...) Thanks for the review!  
  
Snorts90: Thank you soo much!! I love you!  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun: Sadly, I don't take AP. Sorta glad I didn't, cuz my friends hate doing the DBQ's... Thanks for the review!  
  
Saturday: Hyperventilating! hehe :Virtual hugging back: love you! Thanks!  
  
LiamsKitten: hehe they are sweet together! Race/Spot is soo cute! lol Thanks!  
  
Poker: I kno ya didnt review (your computer is just like mine! lol) but ya told me it was good so that counts! hehe... thankies!  
  
Okies, that's it... REVIEW TIME!  
  
~Braids 


	9. Ch 9 Weekend Fun

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS- Ch 9 ~ Weekend fun  
  
Disclaimer: SLASH.. Don't like it? DON'T READ IT! I do not own Newsies or Race... or really anything else, either...  
  
A/N - after a lil bit of writers block, I actually came up with something! Read on!  
  
******************************  
  
1/30/04  
  
Thank god it's Friday! I really hate school. I can't stand it anymore. The popular people are fuckin' mean! Especially the jocks. They feel the need to call me names every second of the frickin' day. I just can't take it!  
  
Anyway, I still am banished from my house. Even with Mrs. Conlon trying to get my mom to let me move back in, she still ain't budging.  
  
Today, I knew my mom would be at work all day, so me and Spot put our 'Operation: Get Stuff' into action. Yes, I handed in my key to my mom, but she ain't all that smart. We have a keypad to get into the garage, and she didn't change the code. Also, she still had the key hidden in the same spot in the garage! So of course we got in.  
  
We ran quickly up to my room, which was miraculously untouched. Spot opened the suitcase we had brought and we started throwing everything and anything into it, including my laptop. Soon, the suitcase was full. I took one last look around my room, making sure that everything I wanted was packed.  
  
My eyes stopped on my old, ratty teddy bear. I had had that bear since I was born. I slowly walked over to it and bent down to pick it up. So many memories, good and bad, were etched into the old ratty bear. The first time I went away to camp, my mom had to drive three hours to the camp site to bring me my bear after I had forgotten it. Also, whenever I had a bad day, I would always run up to my room and sit on my bed, hugging it. When my parents announced they were getting a divorce, even though I was sixteen, I still hugged that bear as I cried. How did I forget him in the first place?  
  
After hugging the bear again, I stuffed it into the suitcase. Then I turned toward Spot and sighed.  
  
"I'm ready. Let's go."  
  
He nodded and started down the stairs.  
  
When we reached Spot's house, we both breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Operation: Get Stuff is complete!" Spot said, high-fiving me. "Boys! What's all this noise? And why do you have a suitcase?" Mrs. Conlon said, walking into the room.  
  
We both looked at each other and cracked up.  
  
"What did you two do now? Race! Spot!" She called to us as we made our way upstairs.  
  
"Nothing, Mom." Spot called over his shoulder.  
  
We went into 'my' room and dumped the suitcase. As we were sorting everything out, Spot said to me,  
  
"Race... I'm really glad you're here. That we can help you out."  
  
"Yeah, me too. I just wish...." I trailed off.  
  
"She'll come around. I know she will."  
  
"Hopefully." I said, walking over to Spot and putting my arms around his waist. "I'm the luckiest guy alive to have you beside me."  
  
"No, I'm the luckiest guy to have *you* beside *me*."  
  
With that, he kissed me. And that turned into a full-on make out session, only interrupted by Hailey bursting into the room, screaming at the top of her lungs that dinner was ready.  
  
Yeah, we started cracking up as soon as she left the room.  
  
Living at Spot's house is great. I miss my room and my house, but I really don't mind living here, for the obvious reason (oh shut up) and the fact that his mom is so loving and nice.  
  
Later!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/7/04  
  
Wow, this week end fast! I'm still living with Spot, but I don't care. It's fun...  
  
Speaking of fun, last night was awesome!  
  
There was nothing going on with our friends, Spot and I decided to have a movie night. After about a half hour's worth of trying to decide what movie to watch, we finally picked out Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.  
  
Then Spot got a brilliant idea... Let's make cookies!  
  
So there we were, slicin' and bakin' the Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies. Well, not really... more like slicin' and eatin' the batter! And then we had a mini-food fight. We actually only made like ten cookies. Oh well, making them was fun!  
  
And the movie? We barely watched it. (What did you expect?) I was in heaven all during it. God, he is such a great kisser!  
  
Anywho, Valentine's Day is next Saturday. This will be the first time I will actually have a Valentine. And I have no clue on what to do! Help me!!!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
*************  
  
A/N - man, that sucked... totally didn't come out the way I planned it.. Oh well!  
  
Next chappie~ Valentine's Day surprise! hehe....  
  
*Shout-Outs*  
  
Thanks to ALL my reviewers!  
  
Snorts90: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it!  
  
SpecsGlasses: It's okay, I forgive you! haha! Sucks donkeys balls and choking on glass! hehe! Thanks!  
  
Strawberri Shake: Thank you! Ya know how Race's school doesn't have midterms? That's my school! hehe... Snow days rock!!  
  
Lil' Italy: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
xpennyroyalx: hehe! Thanks! Btw- I LOVE ur stories!  
  
Fanfictionreadah: YAY! Something Corporate rocks! Thank you!  
  
Saturday: Hyperventilating! lol.. Don't worry, it won't end soon. (I plan to keep it up till June, aka graduation!) Anyway, thanks!  
  
Scout73: Compulsive slash readers anonymous. at your service! hehe.. Thanks!  
  
Repeats: yay! Thanks for the review!  
  
LiamsKitten: Aww! I love you! Thanks sooo much!  
  
Okies, end of the chapter... review time! Anyone who reviews gets some of the chocolate chip cookies made by Spot and Race! hehehehe...  
  
~Braids 


	10. Ch 10 Valentine's Day Surprise!

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS- Ch 10 ~ Valentine's Day Surprise  
  
Disclaimer: SLASH.. Don't like it? DON'T READ IT! I do not own Newsies or Race... or really anything else, either... The song is owned by Ben Folds...  
  
A/N - HAPPY V-DAY EVERYONE!! hehehe... enjoy!  
  
******************************  
  
2/10/04  
  
Four days till Valentine's Day and I still don't know don't know what I'm doing for Spot. Oh well, I'm sure I'll think of something!  
  
Anywho, my dad called! He called my cell. Here's our conversation:  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Anthony!"  
  
"Dad! Hi! How are you? How's California?"  
  
"Good, very warm. I hear you got a lot of snow. That's what I miss!"  
  
I laughed a little, then answered. "Yeah, we had a few snow days...."  
  
"I talked to your mother."  
  
My heart dropped. "You did? So you know?"  
  
"Yes. And I think she is completely wrong for kicking you out. You're our son. Who cares if you're gay! You can bet we got in a heated argument over that."  
  
"Oh thank god..." I said, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"And I just want to let you know that I'm here for you if you ever need me. And I bet you're also worried about what's gonna happen with college next year..."  
  
Shit! I hadn't even thought of college!  
  
"...But I will pay for it, Tony, so don't worry."  
  
Almost hyperventilating with joy, "Thank you SO much Dad! I love you!"  
  
He chuckled, then said, "I knew you would be. I miss seeing you, kid! You gotta come visit me more often!" "Mom never let me before."  
  
"Well now you can! Whenever you want to, just call me and I'll arrange it."  
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"  
  
"Well, I gotta go now son. Talk to you soon!"  
  
"Bye Dad! I love you!"  
  
"Love ya too!"  
  
*Click*  
  
Ah! I am in the best mood right now! Later!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/12/04  
  
Today has been great! Since we have off of school tomorrow for President's Weekend, today was the 'official' school Valentine's Day. And no, I haven't yet figured out what I'm getting Spot! But I'll figure out by Saturday!  
  
But what Spot did for me? God, that was so romantic! I never dreamed he would do that!  
  
It was during lunch at BK. We were all complaining how there was WAY too much PDAs today. Then, in a break of conversation, I saw Spot glance toward Jack and Skitts, who both nodded to him. Then he spoke to me.  
  
"Race, I know it's not actually Valentine's Day yet, but I wanna give you a special 'early' gift. I hope ya like it."  
  
With that, he started singing to me, right in BK!  
  
" I don't get many things right the first time  
  
In fact, I am told that a lot.  
  
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls  
  
Brought me here  
  
And where was I before the day  
  
That I first saw your lovely face  
  
Now I see it everyday  
  
And I know,  
  
That I am  
  
I am  
  
The Luckiest  
  
I love you more that I have ever found a way  
  
to say to you.  
  
That I am  
  
I am  
  
The Luckiest."  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Race." Spot said once he finished, then leaned down and kissed me.  
  
We were in our own little world during that kiss. I forgot about all our surroundings. I didn't even hear all the jeering or anything people around me were saying.  
  
It was just the best thing ever. The best day ever!  
  
Can't wait till Saturday!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/15/04  
  
Well, today is our one month anniversary! ...God I sound like a girl! Oh well. We'll probably just sit home and watch a movie or something like that.  
  
Anyway, Valentine's Day was an absolutely amazing night! You know how I said that Tuesday was the best day ever? Yeah, I lied. Last night was the best day ever!  
  
Since I still hadn't gotten him anything, I decided to bake him brownies while he was out with his mother.  
  
I gave them to him that night. "Spot.. uh, here's your Valentine's Day present." I said as I presented the brownies. "I didn't know what to get you so I make these!"  
  
"Oh Race, you didn't have to make them! Come on, we can share them."  
  
He led me into the TV room, and we sat on the couch and started eating. About ten minutes later, Mrs. Conlon came in.  
  
"Hello boys! Do you two have Valentine's plans tonight? Or are you just saying in?"  
  
I almost choked on my brownie when she said that!  
  
"No, mom, we're just staying home."  
  
"That's fine. Mark will be here any minute to pick me up, and Hailey is at Marisa's house, so you two will be alone. Don't get into any trouble!"  
  
"Yes, mom."  
  
"OH! Mark's here! Bye Spot! Bye Race!" And she left.  
  
"Sooooo... Race, we're all alone in an empty house, on Valentine's Day to less... What to do?" Spot said, with a smirk.  
  
"Hmm..." I said, fake pondering, and eyeing the last brownie. "First, I'm gonna steal the last brownie!"  
  
I quickly grabbed the brownie off the plate before Spot could reach me.  
  
"No you ain't! It's mine!" He said, pushing me outta the way.  
  
Which was followed by a fake girlish cat-fight. That was fun. Me and Spot fighting over a brownie! ....I knew brownies were a good idea! After about ten minutes of fighting, Spot had finally stolen it from me.  
  
"HAH! I got it! I won!"  
  
"Not if I can help it!"  
  
I charged at him, knocking him onto the couch, with me on top, pinning his arms above his head.  
  
"I got you right where I want you. Now...."  
  
I leaned forward and with my mouth plucked the miraculously still intact brownie out of his hands. Then with half of the brownie out of my mouth, brought my face toward his. He caught on to what I was doing and bit off the rest of the brownie. "...We can share it!"  
  
"We can share more than just a brownie too, Race."  
  
He leaned into my and planted his explosive kisses one right after another on me. God, he can KISS!  
  
Eventually, our shirts were discarded and we were all over each other. It was so amazing. I've never felt that way before. He just completes me.  
  
After about an hour or so of mind-blowing kisses, we both were exhausted. So we put on my favorite movie, Newsies, and cuddled on the couch the rest of the night.  
  
...Well, except for when we got into pillow fight which started when Spot hit me on the head with the pillow, telling me to stop singing!  
  
I loved last night!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
*******************  
  
A/N - AH! I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!!!! I really like how it turned out!  
  
Just a little side-note.. There will probably be no update next week, since it is opening weekend for Guys and Dolls (2-19). Yes, I do have off of school this Friday and Monday, but I have crew rehearsal all Friday, all Saturday, all Sunday, all Monday, off Tuesday, dress rehearsal Wednesday, opening night Thursday and then the rest of the performances Friday and Saturday. So yeah.. So no update next week! Sorry in advance!  
  
*Shout outs*  
  
You all get some of the cookies that Race n Spot made last chappie!  
  
Poker  
  
BitterSweetDragon  
  
Strawberri Shake  
  
Sniper Higgins  
  
Lil' Italy  
  
Repeat SpecsGlasses  
  
Scout73  
  
Saturday  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun  
  
THANKS SO MUCH!!  
  
Okies, review time! Now if you review, you all get a browning especially made for you by Race! hehe... REVIEW!!  
  
~Braids 


	11. Ch 11 Fun times

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS- Ch 10 ~ Fun times  
  
Disclaimer: SLASH.. Don't like it? DON'T READ IT! I do not own Newsies or Race... or really anything else, either...  
  
A/N - Better late then never! hehe... more babblings at the end. Enjoy!  
  
******************************  
  
2/17/04  
  
Well, it's common knowledge now at school that Spot and I are an 'item' because of last Thursday's BK lunch. *squeals just remembering it* When we walk to classes together, we get jeered at so much. I've learned to deal with it, since I've been hearing it since January. But Spot, god, whenever someone says something, I have to hold him back. Eventually, he's gonna soak the shit outta someone cuz I won't be able to hold him!  
  
Anywho, our one month anniversary was Sunday. Let's see... what did we do?  
  
We had a candle light dinner in the Conlon's dinner room. I made my famous spaghetti and meat sauce.. My own secret recipe for the sauce! While sitting around the table, we had a good laugh.  
  
"Heya Race, this kinda reminds you of that scene in Lady and the Tramp, doesn't it?"  
  
"Oh god..." I said, laughing. "Yeah, it kinda does."  
  
Spot leaned forward and bit into a strand of spaghetti, beckoning me to do the same. I laughed as I did. Of course, it ain't the movies and we didn't get the same piece. It took a few tries, but when we met in the middle for a kiss, it was heaven. Spot's kiss mixed with my sauce? MMM!! That's all I gotta say bout that...  
  
After dinner, we went outside and took a walk, hand in hand, under the moonlight. This weekend has been so romantic. First, Spot singing to me in BK, then Valentine's Day, and now this? What more can a guy want in a boyfriend? Nothing!  
  
Later days!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/21/04  
  
Last night was SO fun!  
  
For English, Grill gave us this assignment... Pick anything we've read so far and make a movie on it, as like a late mid-term project. The best part of it was that we can work with ANYONE from her four other classes. So it's me, Spot, Skittery, Jack, and Blink doing a video on Hamlet. [1]  
  
For the big battle scene at the end, we did a massive sword fight. For that, we decided to do the 'Japanese' dubbed version, with me and Spot randomly moving our mouths as we fought. We got Blink's sister to do Spot's voice and his mom to be mine. It's hilarious to hear their voices when you are watching us!  
  
Well, it's like midnight now, so I'm tired. Later!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/23/04  
  
Once again, TR North's reputation has gotten worse. We've always been known as 'Heroin High' but lately, the drug use has been declining.  
  
...Not anymore!  
  
Five guys from the wrestling team were at a party after a match. They were all having fun and partying until one of them passed out and started having seizures. Turns out, they were using Ecstacy! All of the were kicked off the team and suspending from school. [2]  
  
I'm happy. Most of those guys were those fuckin' jocks that made my day miserable. But they'll be back next week. Figures...  
  
Anyway, we played out video today. Everyone laughed so hard at the end. And we got a 100! Maybe I'll actually pull off a B this quarter...  
  
Nothing else worth writing, except the fact that I'm anxiously waiting to hear from colleges! Oh, the stresses of senior year...  
  
Later!  
  
~Racetrack  
  
2/27/04  
  
I hate being sick! I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat and a stuffy nose. Mrs. Conlon let me stay home from school. So I've been home alone all day. I slept, pigged out on Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints baby...yum!), and watched movies.  
  
Now it's two o'clock and I'm waiting (not-so-very) patiently for Spot to get home.  
  
Ah! There's the door. Write later!  
  
~Race  
  
(Later that night)  
  
Spot is the best boyfriend EVER! He came into my room when he got home.  
  
"Hey Race. Missed ya at school. How ya feelin'?"  
  
"Like shit."  
  
"Figured... This should make ya feel better." He leaned forward and kissed me. God, I needed that. But after a few seconds, it dawned on me that I probably just gave my germs to Spot, so I lightly pushed him away.  
  
"Ya know you're gonna get sick now?"  
  
He shrugged. "Eh... shit happens... You just looked all sick and gloomy and I felt like I needed to cheer you up!"  
  
I laughed at this. Isn't he so sweet? He left after that, saying he had tons of homework to do. An hour or so later, I woke up to a soft knocking on my door. It was Spot.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
He walked in and to my surprise, he had a bowl of chicken soup, just for me! He slaved away over a hot stove cooking it for me! He really is the best boyfriend ever!  
  
I never tasted better soup!  
  
~Racetrack.  
  
2/29/04  
  
Leap year day! Woot! lol...  
  
Last night was another party at Skitt's house. I still feel like shit, but now it's for a different reason.  
  
The party was going good. Music, food, and movies.. What more do you need to have a good time? Plus, we were having pillow wars- hurling the couch pillows at everyone and fake-fighting. But then hell broke loose.  
  
Jack had 'accidently-on-purpose' kneed Spot in the balls. Spot immediately fell to the ground, cupping his hands over his crotch. Jack started cracking up, as well as everyone else. I decided to get revenge on Jack because he hurt Spot, so I started chasing him and throwing pillows at him.  
  
I didn't see it though, but Spot had stuck his foot out and tripped Jack. Of course, I didn't notice, so I in turn, tripped over Jack. I fell onto the ground, but not without hitting my head hard on the corner of a glass table.  
  
...Talk about an instant headache!  
  
I spent the rest of the party in a backroom, lying on Spot's lap with ice on my head.  
  
...yeah, like that's all that happened. Spot and I, in a dark room, away from everyone else, my head in Spot's crotch.... Those were some really good kisses!  
  
So here I am now, a huge bump on the back of my head and still sick! Go figure. [3]  
  
But I have Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday to look forward to. No school till ten-thirty and only fourth through eighth period. Juniors have to take the HSPA tests in the morning. Thank God I passed them, cuz they were a bitch to take!  
  
Well, later days!  
  
~Racetrack.  
  
*************************  
  
[1] The Hamlet video... My friend's b/f actually made it. It's hilarious!  
  
[2] Yup, it's true. It was all over school last week. And yes, my school's nickname is actually Heroin High...  
  
[3] yes, this too actually happened... except it was a girl that hit her head after her b/f got hit in the balls.. Talk about an interesting party....  
  
A/N - Okies, first of all, I am sorry that this is out so late! I had the play (it went good!), then I was sick, plus I hate a bit of writers block. I had it all ready yesterday, but of course, my dad was on the computer all day doing taxes so I couldn't type it!  
  
Goal for Ch 12- up by 3.12  
  
*Shout Outs*  
  
ALL of you get some of Race's brownies! Thank you all!  
  
TakeOneLook: Thankies! Yes, you get a brownie!  
  
sniper higgins: Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it!  
  
Scout73: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Poker O'Shea: POKER! Hehe.. Aww thanks SO much!  
  
Repeat: hehe.. SpotRace IS the best couple! Thankies!  
  
Snorts90: lol.. Don't worry, I ain't stopping this.. Thanks!  
  
Saturday: hehe.. I wonder why you liked the 'hyperventilating' part.. Thanks for the review!  
  
Shelly "Quills" Webster: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Strawberri Shake: Yup, it's set in my hometown! Jersey Rocks! Lol.. Thankies!  
  
LiamsKitten: hehe.. Love ya! Thanks for the review!  
  
Okies, REVIEW TIME! I have 91 reviews... lets get this baby to 100! A special shoutout for the 100th reviewer!!  
  
Braids 


	12. Ch 12 St Patty's Day!

The Journal of Racetrack Higgins Ch 12 ~ St. Patty's Day 

**Disclaimer: **SLASH… if ya don't like it, Don't Read IT!  I don't own anything either… it's either owned by Disney or they are real things…

**A/N: **Yes, I'm late in updating… I had yet another bit of writer's block… but never fear, I am updating now!  Enjoy…

*~*~*~*~*

**3/17/04**

St. Patrick's Day.  What a fun day!  Since the Conlon's are extremely Irish, we had everything you would expect of St. Patty's Day… Corned beef, cabbage, soda bread, and yes, even beer.  Everything was delicious!  

But all this celebrating made me miss my parents even more.  Although my mom's Italian, she does have some Irish in her blood.  She always made a big deal over this holiday, decorating our house and always making me where green no matter how much I protested. Plus, she made the best damn Irish Soda Bread _ever_!  It was an old family recipe passed down from generation to generation.

Ya know, I just miss my mom period.  True, she kicked me out, but still, she's my mother!  I've seen her everyday for the past eighteen years and now, all of a sudden; I don't see her or talk to her at all.  She's taken care of me all of my life, through thick and thin.  We fought constantly, but she still always forgave me.  Well, except for this past argument…

Mrs. Conlon a great mother figure, but that's all she'll ever be to me… a mother figure. She will never ever replace my mom in my heart.  My mom will always be my mom, no matter what she's done to me.  I still love her.

…God, ya never realize how much your parents mean to you until they aren't there for you anymore…

Living here is great and all (for the obvious reason), but I just want to go home!

If it wasn't my senior year, I woulda instantly gone to California to live with my dad.  But I didn't want to leave my senior year.

I'll give my mom a little bit more time, like a week or so, and then I'm gonna try to talk to her again.  Hopefully, she'll take me back.

It's late, I'm gonna go to bed.  Later.

~Racetrack

**3/19/04**

All those good feelings about my mom?  Yeah, all gone.

Since I was waiting anxiously to hear from colleges, everyday after school I would check the mail at my house, knowing my mom was always at work at that time.  

So naturally, today Spot and me walked to my mailbox.  I opened it up, and to my surprise (and delight), there was a huge, white envelope that had Muhlenberg College [1] stamped on the front of it.  

"Could it be?"  I said, anxiously excited.  "They don't send rejection letters in a huge envelope, right Spot?"

"Just open it!"  Spot answered, just as anxious as I was.

I eagerly ripped open the package and read the first line.  

"…Congratulations, Anthony!  We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into Muhlenberg's Class of 2008!"

I just stared at the words for a second, not fully comprehending what I had just read.  Spot interrupted my thoughts.

"Race, ya got in!"

"I got in?  I GOT IT!  I'm goin' to college!"  In the spur of the moment, I leaved forward into Spot, catching him in a kiss.  I was in heaven until a very angry voice ripped through my heart.**__**

"**_Anthony Michael Higgins_**!  What da _hell _do you think you are doing?"

…Yupp, you guessed it.  My mom.

We broke apart quickly and I shakily turned to face my mother, who was standing wide-eyed and furious on our front porch.

"H..Hi..mom…" I managed to squeak out.

"Don't _'hi mom'_ me, young man.  I will not tolerate that kind of behavior on my property at all.  Take your… '_friend_' and get off my lawn now or I am calling the police!"

 My face paled at that and I couldn't speak.  Spot, on the other hand, could.

"Mrs. Higgins, how can you say that?  He's your **son**.  How can you treat him like that?"

"He may be my son, but I want nothing to do with…" She made a disgusted face. "…Your _kind_ of people."

Spot was outraged, as his eyes narrowed in anger and he clenched his fists at his side.

"Our _kind_ of people?  God, what is it with you damn homophobic, close-minded people?  We are human beings too, ya know!  We eat, breath, sleep, talk, everything the same as you!  Who care about our personal lives?  It's _our_ business, not any of yours.  So ya better get used to us, 'cuz we ain't changing who we are, no matter what anyone says."

I looked up at Spot with awe.  He had the guts to stand up to my mother.  I, her own son, didn't.

My mom must have been shocked by his outburst because she couldn't seem to formulate a sentence.  Finally, she threw up her hands in defeat.

"Fine.  Just get off my lawn!"  She hatefully spat out, turning inside and slamming the door behind her.

I stood there for a few seconds, not moving.  Then I glanced at Spot, who was looking at the house with his eyes burning with anger.  I placed a hand on his shoulder.  Startled, he looked back toward me.

"Thanks Spot.  I don't know what I woulda don't without ya."  He shrugged in reply, but didn't speak.  "I mean it… You saw me.  I was like a deer in a headlight.  I couldn't speak!"

There was a few seconds more of silence.  Finally, Spot broke it.

"Your mom's a bitch, ya know that?"

"Yeah… I know.  Come one, let's go back to your house."

We started back, but Spot stepped on something.  I looked down and to my surprise, it was my college acceptance letter.  I bent down to pick it up, hot tears forming in my eyes.  I felt Spot's hand on my back.

"Don't worry… it will get better."

"I hope so."

We walked back into his house.

That leaves me here and now.  I've tried to call my dad, but his girlfriend said he was at work still.

I'm happy and pissed at the same time.  Ya ever had that feeling?  When something great happens, but then a bad thing comes along and overshadows everything, making your happy feelings instantly be whipped out?  Yeah, that's what it's like right now.

I don't feel like talking to anyone.  Mrs. Conlon had called me down to dinner, but I refused.  I even refused talking to Spot.

I don't know why.  I just want high school to end so I can get out of Jersey.  Away from my mother.  Away from everyone…**period**.

~Racetrack

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[1] Muhlenberg… my sister's alma mater, and hopefully, mine too!

**A/N:  **wows… I actually like this chapter…

And I apologize for last chappie.. it sucked… Hopefully this one is better!

And still 4 more reviews away from 100!  Come on, review!!

***Shoutouts***

**StudentNumber24601:**  Thank you SO much for the constructive criticism.  It really had helped me!  I tried to use your advice as much as possible.  Did I do all right? Lol

**BlueBoxer:**  Thanks!  Happy you read it in one sitting!  Glad ya liked it!

**Poker O'Shea**: POKER! Hehe.. ain't Spot great? Lol.. thankies!

**StrawberriShake**: Yummy thin mints… evil HSPAs!  Like shortened days! Lol…  Randomness, I know… thanks!

**Scout73:** Thankies!  Glad you liked it!

**Saturday:**  Yes, ffn IS stupid!  Aww.. thankies!  I love SR too! Hehe.. and Race was Hamlet.  Don't die, I updated!  Thanks again!

Thanks to all of u!  Review time now!  My mom's famous Irish Soda Bread for all of you!

**~Braids  **


	13. Ch 13 Depression

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH 13 ~ Depression**

**Disclaimer**: Slash… Don't like it?  Don't read it!  Don't own Race or Newsies or anything else!  

**A/N**: a few days late… oh well… Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**3/23/04**

I hate the world right now.  How many months till I leave?  Only five?  Good.  I can't wait to get away from this hell that is my life.

I can't take it anymore.  I really can't.  It seems like every time I go outside, my mom is watching me through her glaring eyes.  I can feel them on me even if I'm not facing my house.  She must feel a need to torture me even more than she already has.

It's not fair.  Why can't I have two normal, loving parents that accept me for who I am?  Yes, my dad does, but he's in fuckin' California!

Another thing- those damn homophobic jocks at school.  I cannot go **_one_ **damn period without someone saying 'faggot' or worse to me.  Just **_once_** I want to not be made fun of for a whole day.

…I just want to be normal…

These past few days, I've just recessed from everything.  After school, I lock myself in my room and blast my music.  During that time, I just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling or write.  I stay in my room until dinner, but then I come right back up here.  I don't really even eat.  I haven't eaten a full meal in two days.

Spot's worried.  I know he is.  Today in the car home he asked me, but I bit his head off.

"Race, what's wrong?  Please tell me.  I want to help."

"Nothing is wrong with me" I barked back, annoyed.  "Mind your own fuckin' business."

He just looked at me for a second.  "Race, I'm just-"

I cut him off.  "Didn't you hear me?  This conversation is over.  Stay outta my life."

After I said that, Spot's face looked like he'd just been slapped.  I regretted my words but I wasn't going to take them back. 

"Fine.  If that's the way you want it, then you can have it."  He said, after a few seconds of silence.  Then he got out of the car and walked into the house.

I just sat there, stunned at my own words and actions.  Finally, I gathered my books and ran inside.  I ignored everyone and ran up to my room and slammed the door.

Which brings me to now.  Mrs. Conlon is calling me for dinner, but I ain't hungry so I'm gonna skip.  Plus I really don't feel like facing Spot.

I hate my life.

~Racetrack

**3/25/04**

Yet another day of seclusion in my room.  I had actually convinced Mrs. Conlon to let me stay home from school.  So today consisted of music blasting, TV on, and me lying on my bed.  I actually ate though… a whole bag of popcorn.

I don't know what's going on with me.  I don't want to do anything besides being by myself.  Being with friends really isn't fun anymore because I have to put on an act that I'm happy when I'm not.

And Spot?  We've barely said ten words to each other since my outburst on Tuesday.  It's killing me inside that we are fighting, but I just can't bring myself to apologize.  I want to talk to him, but I just can't deal with anything anymore.

Later.

~Racetrack

**3/26/04**

I officially hate my life.  I no longer have anything worth living for.

Here's what happened…

After dinner tonight (or for me, the non-existent dinner), Spot came and knocked softly on my door.

"Can I come in?"

I groaned loudly, but said, "Sure, it's open."

He opened the door and walked in.  He went over to my stereo, turned down the volume a bit, and sat on my chair.  I sat up in my bed and stared at him.  He took a deep breath and started talking.

"Race… I'm really worried 'bout ya.  Can ya please just let me in a little bit?"

"Do you ever give up?"  I snapped at him, inwardly wincing at the harshness in my tone.  "God, how many times do I have to tell you?"

He held up his hands in defeat.  "Don't bit my head off Race!  I care 'bout ya.  I don't like ta see ya like this."

"Oh, now you're really breakin' my heart. [1]" I said, sarcastically.

Spot turned toward me and looked at me for a few seconds before dropping his head.

"Race, I'm just trying to help.  But you keep pushing me away.  How am I supposed to be with you if you keep doing this?  These past few days, we've barely spoken."  He looked up at me again, locking eyes.  "I'm not saying this will be forever, but I think we should take a break from our relationship."

I felt like the wind was knocked out of me.  Even though I could see it in his eyes, I still said, "You're jokin' right?"

He sadly shook his head and dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry Race.  But… I can't do this."  He sighed and got up, heading for the door.  When he reached the door, he turned around and continued, "When you get out of… whatever it is that you're in, then we can start up again.  I'm sorry."

With that, the love of my life walked out of my door.  Living here now is gonna be hell.  Not to mention totally awkward and extremely hard to deal with.

August can't come any faster…

I hate the world.

~Racetrack

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[1] Kudos to anyone who knows what movie that line is from!

**A/N**: Okies, ya'll are gonna kill me for this chappie, ain't ya?  lol…  I know it's short.. oh well!

Look for next chapter some time next week.. It's my spring break so hopefully I'll have it up!

… Ya know, I just realized how much I torture poor Racey…  but Depressed!Race is fun to play with!

I GOT 100 REVIEWS!!!  Congrats to Repeat, my 100th reviewer!!

**Shout Outs**

**Scout73: **hehe… thanks for the review!  Glad ya liked it!

**BlueBoxer**: aww!  Thankies!  I'm glad you liked it!

**TakeOneLook**: Flit!  hehe… Hi Mr Dork! lol.. Thankies!!

**Repeat**: 100th reviewer!! I love you!  Thanks so much for reviewing!

**StrawberriShake**: Yay!  No, you can't have Spot! HE'S MINE! lol.. thankies!

**StudentNumber24601**: THANK YOU SO MUCH!  That really makes me feel good about my writing!  Glad you liked it!

**Saturday**: Thankies!  I love ya!  And no, I've never seen Pirates of Penzance.. I should though!  hehe..

**LiamsKitten**: hehe.. I can never spell things either!  Thankies!  So glad you liked it!  

Well, it's that time again.. REVIEW!

**~ Braids**


	14. Ch 14 Something to live for

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGGINS CH 14 ~ Something to live for**

**Disclaimer**: SLASH.  If you don't like it, don't read it.  Simple as that.  I don't own any of the Newsies.  Anything else, I either own it, or it's a real thing.

**A/N**: YES I am alive!  Two weeks w/o an update… wow, that's bad…  Oh well, enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**4/5/04**

Spring Break.  Whoop-di-frickin'-do.  One whole week of locking myself in my room.  A whole week stuck just a hallway from Spot, knowing we're not together anymore.  

This past week of school has been hell; especially the car rides there and back.  On Monday, it was the first time since like January that I didn't have a morning kiss from Spot.  Instead of talking the entire ride like we normally do, I sat there, staring out the window, mentally kicking myself for what I did.

I honestly don't even know the last time I laughed… maybe two-three weeks ago?  Maybe more?  I don't care.  All I want is two things- to have Spot back, and to stay in my room.  And no one is gonna stand in my way of doing the last thing.

Later

~Racetrack

**4/8/04**

Well, I didn't fully get my wish.  But it hasn't turned out bad at all.  

This morning, bright and early at ten o'clock, Mrs. Conlon burst into my room.

"Wake up, Race!  It's a gorgeous day!"

I groaned and rolled onto my side.  She didn't get the message.

"Nope!  You're not gonna sleep away the day today!" She sing-songed out, too perky for my taste. 

Just as I rolled over again, she pulled my shades open, revealing the sunshine right into my eyes.  I shielded my eyes to avoid the bright light by pulling a pillow over my head.

"Oh no you're not!  You are getting out of bed mister.  You're not going to waste away under my care."  I simple groaned in response and stayed in bed.  She continued anyway. "Race, I'm not leaving this room until you get up.  It's not healthy what you are doing to yourself.  You've become a son to me in the past months, you know that Race?  And I can't stand to see my son do this to himself."

I peered my head out from behind the pillow a bit.  Did she just say that she thinks of me as her son?  Not just Spot's boyfriend?

She saw my eyes and smiled.  Did she actually care about me like that?  Like… a mother would?  Wow… finally an adult cares about me.

Reluctantly, and ever so slowly, I made myself get out of bed.  Mrs. Conlon left, but not before telling me I'd better be downstairs in a half hour for a chocolate chip pancake breakfast.  I promised her I would, and for once, I meant it.  As I was in the shower, I knew what I had to do today.  Spot.

Right after breakfast, which, by the way, I never remembered pancakes tasting so good, I went to talk to Spot.  I caught his as he was walking up the stairs.

"Spot…" I called out.  He turned around, startled that I had spoken.  "Can we talk?"

I swear it, his face lit up a bit, and the corner of his mouth tilted the tiniest bit upwards.  "Sure.  Let's go upstairs."

I followed him up to his room, where he shut the door and turned on his radio.  He flopped onto his bed, while I plopped down onto his beanbag chair.  I nervously kept myself busy by looking through his CD rack, even thought I knew what he had almost by heart.  I heard Spot sigh and I looked up.

"So… what did you want to talk 'bout, Race?

I locked eyes with him.  "About us."

"Race, I told ya-"

I cut him off as I dropped my eyes.  "I know what you said… I know what I said.  And I also know how I've been acting lately has hurt you.  I said some things that I would never say.  I regret everything now.  I was just too…whatever I was, to apologize.  But I'm apologizing now.  I know I was wrong, and I want to get out of whatever I'm in.  And I know you'll help me along the way.  So please…" I looked up at him again.  "Forgive me?"

 His eyes were unreadable as he connected our gaze.  There was silence for a couple minutes.  Then he finally responded.

"I'd like that."  Relief washed over me and I started to smile.  He continued, adding in his trademark smirk.  "But… if you go back to your 'glum-and-dumb' stage…" he trailed off.

"Oh trust me.  Even if I do, I won't do _that _again."

He laughed as I got up and walked toward his bed.  I must have caught him off guard because he fell back on the bed as I kissed him.  But I didn't mind it at all… *wink-wink* I missed those kisses so much.  I'm glad to have him back.

True, my mom's still a major bitch, but I think I'll get over it.  Mrs. Conlon care for me so much, and plus, I have Spot back to help me through this.  I have something to live for now.  And his name's Spot.

~Racetrack

**4/13/04**

Well, Spring Break flew by quickly after Thursday.  No longer am I so depressed.  No longer do I spend every waking minute alone in my room.  Not that I don't spend time in my room- I'm just with Spot then…

Yeah, whenever I see my house (which is like everyday), I get a pain in my heart, thinking of what happened, but Spot really has helped me get my mind off of that.

School.  Actually, a lot happened today.  And I must say, Spot deserves so much for it.

It all started when Spot and I were walking through the skywalk to get to gym class.  All we were doing was talking about some random thing and walking side by side, when Brady, the resident jock-gay basher, roughly pushed me down and said, "Get out of my way, _fag_."

I was knocked into the window and my books flew out of my hands, and scattered across the floor.  I was stunned, because no one had used physical violence on me; they had only done it verbally.

Before I could get up, I heard the sound of a punch and Spot say, "You need to be taught a lesson."  I quickly whipped around and, to my delight, Brady's nose was gushing blood. In an instant, Brady flew at Spot, and before long, they were engaged in an all out fight.

In a flash, a crowd of students was encircled around them, cheering the fight on.  Since this was happening in the middle of the skywalk, there were no teachers in sight to stop it.

I pushed my way to the front so I could see.  By that time, it was clear that they were an equal match. Even though Spot's short and scrawny, he sure knows how to fight.  He can really hold his own in any kind of fight.  Although, he does get hurt sometimes.

I winced as Brady punched him hard in the face, splitting his lip.  A cheer went through the crowd as Spot again got hit hard in the stomach.  He doubled over, coughing and cursing, trying to regain his breath.

"Come on Spot!"  I called out, trying to give him encouragement.

Upon hearing my voice, he tilted his head up and reacted just in time to block Brady's next blow.  He caught Brady's arm, and punched him in the jaw.

Just then, we heard it- the whistles and shouts of the approaching teachers.  Brady and Spot, of course, were oblivious to it and continued their fight.  The students thought, fearing the wrath of Leonard, the vice-principal, began to disappear.  I stayed right where I was, not taking my eyes away from the scene in front of me.

"BOYS!"  Leonard's powerful voice bellowed out, causing Spot and Brady to instantly jump apart.  Leonard motioned for the two security guards with him to grab the boys and make sure they didn't start up again.  "Follow me.  You, too" He said, motioning to me, since I was the only other person left in the skywalk.  I silently followed them to Leonard's office, the most dreaded room in all of North.

Spot and Brady went immediately into his office, while I waited outside to be called in.  I slouched in my chair more as I heard Leonard start to yell at them, although I couldn't make out the words.  After what seemed like forever, they slowly filed out of the room.  Spot saw me and mouthed 'ten days' to me.  Instantly, I was glad that he only got ten.  That's the least you can get if you fight on school grounds, but Leonard normally gives more.  I smiled to Spot as he walked out into the hall.

"HIGGINS!" I jumped at Leonard's voice, but instantly went into his office.  As I entered, he motioned for me to sit down. He must have noticed my discomfort, for he said, "Don't worry.  You're not in trouble.  They explained the whole situation."

I was amazed.  Not just that I wasn't in trouble, but that his voice was actually nice.  He explained to me that he is going to try to stop all the verbal abuses.  Needless to say, I was shocked.  And desperately wanted to know what was actually said in their with Spot and Brady.

The fight was the talk of the school for the rest of the day.  None of my friends were in the skywalk at that time, so they all wanted to hear my first-hand account.  I must have told it like a million times.  At the end of the day, I hitched a ride home with Jack, since he doesn't live that far from me.  

When I got to the house, I finally got a chance to ask Spot exactly what Leonard had said that made him so understanding.  Spot's answer surprised me.  He actually told Leonard the truth!  Even about us being boyfriends.  And Leonard was supportive of us, for he gave Brady fifteen days suspension, not just the normal ten.

Spot's injuries from the fight included a black eye, a split lip, a bloody nose, and numerous bruises.  And he took the pain all for me.  It really shows how much he cares.  That's why he means so much to me.

Well, it's ten days till Spot's eighteenth birthday… and I know exactly what I'm getting him! :)

~Racetrack

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**A/N**: hehe… did you honestly think I would go more than one chappie with them broken up?  I couldn't bear the thought of it! lol…

Leonard's my real vice-principal.  But he's so not as mean as I portrayed him… He's the guard advisor and loves me.  I've gotten out of many detentions because of him! Hehe..

AND April 23rd is Gabe Damon's actual bday, so I'm writing a chappie esp for it!

ONE MORE THING! lol – A WEEK TILL I'M SWEET SIXTEEN! Hehe april 21st!

**Shoutouts**

**Poker: **Don't kill me! They're back together!  Hehe… thankies for the review!

**Repeat**: hehe… you're not psycho… lol Thanks!

**BlueBoxer**: Thankies!  Glad you liked it!

**TheBetterKP**: Thanks for your awesome review!

**TakeOneLook**: Flit! hehe.. don't worry… they're back together! Thankies!

**Scout73**: What's the number for animal control?!?! Hehe Thanks!

**Air**: Wow!  Thanks! Glad ya liked it!

**Saturday**: hehe… that would be funny… gotta love it!  I 3 your reviews!  Thankies!

**Lil' Italy**: hehe thanks for the review!

**StrawberriShake**: HAHAH race in a shrink's bed.. funny mental image! Thankies!

**Shadowsdancingdragons**:  I LOVE YOU!  Thanks so much for the **six **reviews!!  Hehe and if ya noticed—I sorta got inspiration for this chappie from your last review!  Thankies!

Well, it's that time again!  **REVIEW**!

**~braids**


	15. Ch 15 Spot's Birthday

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Ch 15 ~ Spot's Birthday**

**Disclaimer**: SLASH.  If you don't like it, don't read it.  I do not own the newsies.  Everything else, I either own or it's a real thing.

**WARNING**: this chapter is heavily rated PG13.  If slash offends you easily, then continue no further.  Please don't report me.  It's not graphic so it shouldn't be a problem, but I just had to do this warning so slash-haters wouldn't report me to ffn.

**A/N**: *sings* Happy birthday Spot! hehe… My chapter dedicated to the glorious day of April 23rd!  Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**4/20/04**

Well, I haven't written in a week.  Oh well.

School's been okay.  It's weird without Spot being there, but it's only for another week.  The thing that's changed, though, has been the gay bashing.  Leonard's been on all the teachers cases about that.  If they hear anything, they write the kid up.  I am loving it.  I passed by a group of Brady's friends, and no one actually said anything.  It's great.

Coming home from school today (Spot is letting me use his car while he's suspended), I stopped by the mall to pick up a part of his birthday gift.  His birthday is only three days away.  I want to make it extra special, since it's his eighteenth.  But I'm so nervous.  What if I screw up?

Gotta go.  Later

~Racetrack

**4/24/04**

Wow… Yesterday was amazing.  But I'll get to _that_ part later.

I woke up yesterday and went straight into Spot's bedroom.  I stood in the doorway for a minute, just looking at him sleeping.  He looked so peaceful and young; sleeping there, with his body all sprawled out across the bed, and one foot hanging down off the side.  

I quietly crept to the side of his bed, where I gently leaned forward and lightly kissed him.  His eyes fluttered open.

"Happy birthday, Spot."

He smiled.  "Thanks."  

As I kissed him again, he saw his clock and swatted me away with his pillow.

"Race, I'm suspended.  Tell me why you're waking me up at six AM?"

"It's your birthday.  That's why."

"All the more reason to sleep!"  I laughed as her rolled over, leaving me to stare at his ass. I smacked it and he yelped.

"I'm trying to sleep here!"  He yelled, obviously wide-awake.

"Fine." I said, pretending to be hurt. "I guess then I won't give you your birthday surprise" 

He bolted up.  "A birthday surprise?"

"You have to wait till tonight."

He pouted and I laughed.  "The puppy-dog pout ain't gonna work today."

"You suck."  He threw his pillow at me, which I dodged.

"I know!  That's just the way I am.  Now go back to bed."

"Thank you!" He said, and with that, he buried himself under his covers again.  I turned and walked out, shutting his door.

School flew by very quickly.  All my friends told me to wish Spot a happy birthday.  Finally, I was home again.

The second I got inside, Spot bounded down the stairs, waving some sort of card.

"I'm a full-fledged licensed driver!  No longer do I have the midnight curfew!  …Not that I paid any attention to it anyway…" He said with a laugh.

"Congrats!" I said, throwing my arms around him.

For dinner, we had Spot's favorite, Stromboli.  Then, ice cream cake and, of course, the birthday song.  Never have my ears hurt so much, for Hailey was screeching it at the top of her little lungs.

Then came presents.  Mrs. Conlon gave him two hundred dollars and a new shirt.  

When he opened my gift, his face lit up.  "Yellowcard!  I've been wanted this."

After his mom and Hailey left the room, he looked at me. 

"Was that my birthday surprise?"

I smirked.  "Only part."

"When am I getting the other part?"

"Wait and see."

We went into the TV room to spend some 'quality birthday time' with Mrs. Conlon and Hailey.  I was sitting right next to Spot on the couch, getting more nervous each second.  Was I actually going to go through with this?  Will he want to do it?  I didn't realize my knee was shaking until Spot's hand pressed it down.  He mouthed to me 'Are you okay?'  And of course, I nodded back.

Finally, Mrs. Conlon decided it was late and took Hailey upstairs to call it a night.  She advised up to not stay up to late, and then left.

As soon as they were gone, Spot started.  "So, when am I getting my- oh my…"

I cut him off by pushing him roughly down on the couch, kissing him forcefully.  After about half-hour of an incredible make-out session, I sat up.  Spot pouted that puppy-dog pout again.

"What?  That's it?"  He said, pouting.

I tried not to kiss him again, but it was so hard, 'cause he looked so damn _hot_ like that.

I grabbed his shirt and said, "Follow me."

I led him upstairs to my room.  As soon as the door was shut, we were up against the door, lips locked again.  God, he can fuckin' _kiss_.  My knees were so weak as we made out way, tongues entwined, to the bed.  I ended up straddling him.

My heart was already pounding as we discarded our shirts.  I bit back a moan as his mouth left my lips and traveled to my neck.

Panting, I whispered in his ear, "Do you want to do this?"

He nodded.  I swallowed and kissed him again, entwining our tongues and mixing our sweat and saliva.  I let my lips travel down to his neck, and finally down his stomach, to the waistband of his jeans.

The rest?  You figure it out.  There are some things I want to keep private.  Plus, I don't want anyone to find this and read that.

Afterwards, Spot and I lay on the bed, limbs entangled.  We were exhausted.  I whispered into his ear, 'Happy birthday, Spot.' and drifted off to sleep.

I never felt so alive in my life.

And waking up with Spot lying right next to you?  I can't even describe it.  I knew this was the right gift to give him.

~Racetrack

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**A/N**:  Woot!  I LOVE this chapter!  And it only took me like three periods in school to write!

Happy birthday Gabe! Hehe..

AND Happy Birthday to ME!  I turn 16 tomorrow!!!! Yayness!

**Shout outs**

**studentnumber24601**: thankies!  And stupid me, I forgot you guys don't know what a skywalk is… It's a hallway only on the second floor that connects the two opposite ends of my school.  Sorry!  Thanks again for the review!

**Saturday**: hehe… gotta love creeping out your siblings!  Lol.. Thanks for the review!

**Shadowsdancingdragon**: nope, I'm not annoyed!  In fact, I 3 your long reviews! Hehe.. thankies!

**Air**: I posted!  Can I come back? Lol.. thanks for the review!

**StrawberriShake**: Spot's _my_ bodyguard! Lol thankies!!

**BlueBoxer**: Thanks so much!  I'm glad you liked it!

**Poker O'Shea**: hehe school fights are awesome!  And I told ya u'd like this chappie! Lol. Thankies!

**Thelastweasley**: thankies!  Glad ya liked it!  And I LOVE ur ficcy! Hehe…

Okies, it's that time again!  REVIEW!  If ya review, you get a piece of birthday cake!  Press the button! Hehe

**~Braids**


	16. Ch 16 Poker Game

THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS…. CH16 – Poker Game 

**Disclaimer**: Slash… don't like it, don't read it. Don't own Newsies. I own Brady and Hailey.

**A/N**: Yes, I'm alive! It's finally updated! Hehe… enjoy! :)

* * *

**4/28/04**

Well, this weekend was a success. Not to mention amazing. Friday night… there are no words to describe it. If you would have told me that I would be sleeping with Spot this time last year, I would have looked at you like you had two heads.

…Wow… a lot can change in a short amount of time.

Anyway, back to the original point of this entry.

Today was Spot's first day back from suspension. It was good to have my morning-kiss-in-the-car ritual back.

The gay-bashing at school has gone done some, but it's still happening. Especially today, when we went past Brady's friends. Brady was still suspended.

Jared, Brady's best friend and typical jock, called out to us as we passed, "Hey fag- How'd you get out of the suspension? Did ya do something to Leonard? Are you and him now fuck-buddies?" He smiled as everyone around him cracked up laughing.

Spot visibly tensed up and began to turn around. Luckily, a teacher, Miss Carr, had heard the entire thing.

"Boys?" Miss Carr called, making all of the guys whip around to her. "Would you all come with me? I'm sure you're principal would just love to hear that statement."

Spot and I smirked and laughed at them as they tried to make excuses, but Miss Carr would have none of it. From what I heard from gossip around the school, Jared now has a five-day suspension and everyone else has detention for a month. God, I love that lady… It's great.

Well, I have to go. Mrs. Conlon's calling me for dinner.

Later.

Racetrack

**5/8/04**

It's official. Spot and I will be very separated for college. I mean, yeah, I had thought we would have been, but I never wanted to admit it.

He got rejected or weight-listed from every college he applied to. His last rejection came today. He came into my room after he got it.

"Ramapo rejected me." He sighed, handing me the paper and dropping onto my bed. Ramapo had weight-listed him, but now it was final.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to think about how far apart we would be. Sure, his Muhlenberg rejection had come a few weeks ago, but Ramapo was closer than here. He finally broke the silence between us.

"So I guess I'm stuck here in this dump of a town. College is supposed to be when you get away from home. Not stay there, following the same rules you had when you were thirteen!" He beat his hands into my pillow.

"T.R. ain't _that_ bad." I said, trying to comfort him. "And OCC is a great college." I continued, about Ocean County College, the community college in my town.

He just shrugged. "I guess."

"And you could always transfer somewhere after your freshman year."

He shrugged again. It was killing me inside to see him like this. I realized he must have felt like this, that feeling that you can't do anything to help, when I was depressed about my mom.

Suddenly, an idea hit me. "Hey Spot…" He looked up. "Poker game. Me versus you. Winner does the dishes for a week."

His face lit up. "You're on!" he said, grinning. I knew him too well. Poker always made him happy. …'cept for the fact that I win most of the time…

For the next hour, we had a poker showdown, using M&M's as chips. We played six games and it was three-to-three. We agreed it was down to that last game.

I had an okay hand… two pairs. All I needed was one more King or and Eight and I had a full house.

"How many ya want?" I said, performing my job as the dealer.

He held out two cards. "Dos." I handed him his cards and put my one down. I picked up the next card and inwardly smiled, keeping my infamous 'Higgins-Poker-Face' intact, since the card was indeed a King. One week of no dishes, here I come.

"Lay 'em down"

He smirked. "You first"

I shrugged. "Suit yourself." I laid my cards down on the table. "Full House. Read 'em and weep."

"Oh that's good. Here's mine." He laid his out. "I'm not sure what four nines does, but the ace, I think, is pretty high. [1]"

My mouth dropped. He laughed at my expression. "Guess you have dish-duty for the next week Race!"

I threw a pillow at him, hitting him right in the gut.

"You did _not_ just throw that at me."

"So? What're ya gonna do 'bout it, huh?"

"This!" He threw it back at me, catching me off-guard, and knocking me back onto the couch. He came toward me and I grabbed his waist, pulling him on top of me.

You can just guess what happened next. Yup, huge-ass make-out session. He tasted like the M&M's we had during the game. Mmmm… Just thinking about it is nice…

…Ahem…

We kissed for a bit more, until we heard a high-pitched giggle. We immediately broke apart, blushing, for there stood six-year-old Hailey.

"Were you guys just kissing?" She asked, giggling with childish innocence.

I turned to Spot, who was bright red. He coughed and said, "Um… yeah… what do you want?"

She giggled again, and then asked, "Can I have some cookies?"

"Yeah… Only a few, though"

"Okay!" she said, and skipped giddily out of the room, toward the kitchen.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Spot got up and smoothed out his shirt.

"Oh god… I can't believe she just walked in on us!"

"I know. Your face was priceless. I've never seen you so red!"

He threw another pillow at me. "Like you should talk."

"Oh, don't start the pillows again." I said, laughing. Spot joined in, but suddenly stopped.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"Thanks. For cheering me up, I mean."

"Don't mention it. You did it for me. It's only fair that I did it to you."

"I know." He kissed me again. "Thanks again."

"Come on… This has made me hungry, and Hailey gave me a craving for cookies. Hurry, before she eats them all."

We got there just in time, for Hailey was just about to eat the last cookie. She saw us and quickly placed it back in the container, smiling half guiltily, half mischievously.

Spot saw that, and immediately ran toward her, playfully. "Come here you!" She ran away shrieking. "When I catch you, the tickle monster is gonna get you!" This made her shriek more, for Spot caught her, and started tickling her like crazy. That is, until Mrs. Conlon finally came downstairs to see what all the noise was about. I was just laughing the whole time.

That's basically it. I'm sure Spot is still bummed about the college thing, 'cause I still am. But today ended up being a good day.

Racetrack

* * *

[1] Kudos to anyone who knows what movie that's from! Hehehe…

**A/N**: Finally I updated! Yes! lol.. Not one of my best works, but it'll do…

My bday was awesome! Thanks go out to everyone who wished me a happy one! And Williamsburg was great! (that's why I never updated…) Band trips are always fun…

**Shout Outs**

**Poker O'Shea**: Thankies!! Glad ya liked it!

**Uninvisible**: HEY I know you from the LJ community! Lol.. Thanks for the review!

**BlueBoxer**: Thanks for the bday wish! I'm glad you liked it! thanks again!

**StrawberriShake**: Don't worry.. many of us have 'I-Lust-After-Spot-Itus' I know I do! Hehehe.. Thankies!

**Air**: hehe thankies for the review!

**Shadowsdancingdragon**: hehe I 3 your reviews! Randomness rules! Thankies!

**MeganBabula**: YAY another slash converter! jumps up and down hehe thankies!

**Scout73**: Thanks! Hehe Spot's your twin! ..and my bday was Apr 21st.. Sadly, 3 days before Gabe's… hehe.. thankies!

**Saturday**: I 3 you! Hehe… thankies so much! Now, get writing on your stories! (lol like I should talk.. I never update!) Thanks again!

**LiamsKitten**: hehe! Thankies for your review!!

Okies, now's that time again… **REVIEW**!

**. Braids.**


	17. Ch 17 Preparing for Prom

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH17 Preparing for Prom**

**Disclaimer**: Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it! Don't own anyone the Newsies. I do own all the girls and Brady.

**A/N**: I AM ALIVE! Wow… over two weeks with no update… that's bad. Slaps myself anyway, more afterwards… enjoy!

* * *

**5/14/04**

Tonight was so much fun. Bowling is the greatest.... Not to mention something else…

Basically the whole group went. Spot, Jack, Skitts, Blink, Mush, Specs, Dutchy, Snitch, and me went, plus Braids, Curly, Crosser, and Peanut.

It was cosmic bowling tonight, so music was blasting, the lights were dimmed, and fluorescent pins, balls, and lights filled the alley.

Spot is the best bowler out of all of us- he actually can break a hundred! Me? Well, let's just say I desperately needed bumpers…

"And it's a… strike! Yes!" Spot celebrated his third strike in a row, pumping his fists in the air. We all laughed at his victory 'dance' as Blink and I got up to bowl.

"Prepare to be amazed," I joked, as I set up my shot. Everyone called out a variety of _'yeah, right'_ to me as I released the ball. It went flying down the lane, hopped the gutter, and went straight into Blink's lane.

"Whoops, my bad," I said sheepishly to Blink, and then shouted for joy as I saw my ball had knocked down all the pins. "I got a strike! Go me!"

"You may have gotten the strike, but I got the points!" Blink laughed, as he pointed to the scoreboards, which mine still had a score of a seven, and his flashing 'strike!'

"Ha ha. I still got the strike!" I said, and then bowled my actual turn. Two straight gutter balls. Ain't I the best bowler ever?

The night went on with me getting gutter ball after gutter ball, and everyone else actually scoring. By the end, I had a score of fifteen… while Spot's was one hundred and fifteen.

It was after we were done and were all giving back our shoes when I heard Jack talking to Curly about what day they were staying after to buy prom bids. I vaguely remembered posters up all around the halls blasting in big, bold letter that prom bids were on sale next week.

And that got me thinking. I was never one to go to dances… I've only been to one, and that was my freshman year when my friends basically dragged me there. But Spot? He has been to every single one. I was contemplating asking him. It was out senior year and I finally was with him, and it's prom. I decided to ask him on the car ride home.

"Hey Spot?"

"Yeah?" He said, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Uh… Do you… Do you wanna go to prom with me?"

He smiled. "I knew I'd eventually get you to another dance."

"So that's a yes then?"

"Of course it's a yes, stupid!"

We told Mrs. Conlon when we got home. She was thrilled. We're buying the bid on Thursday with everyone else. The dance itself is June fourth, so we have time to get everything.

Well I have stuff to do. Later.

-Racetrack

**5/20/04**

Bids sale was after school today. It was an… interesting experience. I shoulda expected that reaction. I mean, we were two guys buying a prom bid. Together.

Here's the story.

Spot and I met Jack, Curly, Blink, Crosser, Skitts, and Braids at the locker and walked down to the lobby to get the bids. As soon as we got on line, I felt like everyone was staring. Now, I was used to the staring when it's just me and Spot, but normally people don't stare when we're in a big group.

I leaned toward Spot and whispered to him. "Is it just me, or is everyone staring at us?"

"No, it ain't you. They are. It's like they've never seen us together before." He sounded pissed.

That was the moment I saw Brady and his blonde bimbo of a girlfriend Darcy see us on line. I groaned, and Spot looked up. Immediately, he tensed up. After all, we both hated his guts.

"Well, well, well. Look who's going to prom. Ain't it _so_ cute?" Brady said, causing everyone's attention to be even more focused on us. Spot gave him the death blare, but Brady didn't stop there. "Hey fags, which one of you is gonna wear the dress?"

I had to hold Spot back at that comment. I tried to calm him down, but it didn't work. Brady laughed at my attempt to stop Spot and kept taunting us. I desperately kept fighting to keep Spot from getting to Brady. I didn't feel like having another fight. Plus I knew that if Spot were suspended, he wouldn't be able to go to prom, for the ten-day suspension would still be in effect for prom.

Spot finally calmed down, but not before he flipped Brady the finger and said some choice words to him. By that time, Brady was bored with us, and had chosen to start makin' it with Darcy. Talk about disgusting…

Anywho, after another half hour, it was finally our turn to get the bid. The teacher, without looking up from her paper, asked us for our names. I almost laughed at out loud at her reaction, for as soon as she heard our names, her head snapped up and she gapped at us. Finally, I snapped her out of it.

"What? Ya neva seen two guys going to prom together before?"

She turned bright red and apologized a million times, fumbling for our paperwork and the bid. Spot and I had a good laugh after we were done.

Now we have two weeks to get ready. All we really have to do is get the tuxes… Jack already ordered a limo, and the after-prom is at Skitt's dad's house in Seaside.

I'm out.

-Racetrack

**6/1/04**

Memorial Day weekend was a blast.

Blink had a barbeque at his house. Our whole gang was there again. Plus, his pool was open, so you can guess we had fun with that. Everyone got thrown in at least once.

We also had chicken fights. Spot and I are unstoppable! We beat everyone at it. It was great (and I bet you know one reason why…)

_Ahem._

Today we went to rent our tuxes. Yes, I know, it's three days before prom and we didn't get them yet. We're procrastinators, what do you expect?

We walked in and asked the lady working there if we can rent tuxes. After she measured us, she asked this.

"And what color are you're dates dresses? So we can match your vests."

We looked at each other and cracked up. The saleslady wasn't amused. "Excuse me, but what is so funny?"

Spot stopped laughing enough to answer. "Nothing. It's just… well, we're each other's dates."

She looked at us for a second, and then realized what we meant. "Oh… _Ohhhhh_…. I'll um… I'll just give you both… silver… I guess… I'll be right back with your forms." She quickly made her way over to the back room.

Again, we cracked up. People's reactions (the good ones at least) amuse me.

Oh well… Three days until Prom!

Oy yey… I just realized something… One- I can't dance. And two- I forgot to order his boutonniere! I should do that, shouldn't I? Well then, I'm out.

-Racetrack

* * *

**A/N**: woot! FINALLY an update, I know. It's an okay chappie.. not one of my faves, but oh well… next chappie is gonna be good- it's PROM!

**Shout Outs**

**Checkmate**: Yup, that's from Ocean's Eleven! Hehe… thankies!

**Blackjack**: Thankies! Aww I feel special! Glad ya liked it!

**Poker O'Shea**: hehe yes, Spot loves you! Lol… thanks for the review!

**Air**: Yes, I updated! Lol.. thankies for the review!

**Coin**: YAY! A fellow jerseyian! high fives hehe… thankies!

**Saturday**: blocks the spears thrown at her for not updating hehe.. thankies! I 3 you!

**StrawberriShake**: had to look up elusive even thought it was a vocab work this year hehe.. Jared and the Jock- I like! Lol Thankies!

**Singin'-newises-goil**: YAY! Go guardies! Hehe… thankies for the review!

**Madison Square**: thankies! 3 ya! Glad ya liked it!

**Sam**: yes, tis from Ocean's Eleven.. Brad Pitt is hot! Drools thinking of Troy thankies!

**Repeat**: 'the brady bunch… the brady bunch… that's the way we became the brady bunch' hehe okies, ill shut up now… lol Thankies!

**BlueBoxer**: hehe… little siblings are annoying! (I should know.. I annoy the hell outta my older sister! Lol) thankies!

**Shadowsdancingdragons**: Three reviews! Hehe I 3 you! Busch Gardens rules! I love Apollo's Chariot… Ocean's Eleven is right! Troy- GOOD movie.. Orli doesn't die tho! Thank god, cuz he's hot! Lol… thankies!

Okies, it's that time again…. REVIEW!!!

**.Braids.**


	18. Ch18 Prom!

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Ch18 PROM NIGHT!**

**Disclaimer**: Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it. I own none of the newsies, but I do own all the other original characters.

**A/N**: I'm getting it out early! Yipee! Enjoy… :)

* * *

**6/5/04**

Prom 2004 was awesome. It was such an amazing night. Honestly, I'll never forget it.

It began right after school, when I 'stole' Spot's car and sped to the florist to pick up his boutonniere. We had agreed on a white rose to pin to the lapels of our jackets.

Then I had to get ready. It was my first time wearing a tux, so it took me a bit to figure out how to put everything one. I gelled my hair and put on some cologne, and I was ready.

I knocked on Spot's door when I was finished. When he let me in, my heart literally skipped a beat. There he was, looking absolutely gorgeous. I always have thought guys in tuxes where hot, but no model could ever compare to the way Spot looked. Not to mention his hair was slightly in his eyes, and it made him look even better. We stood there for a minute or two, just staring at each other.

"Wow… You look great in a tux, Race. You should wear one more often."

I chuckled. "You look hot yourself, too."

"Come on. I know Mom wants to take, oh, about a million pictures of us."

We went downstairs to take the pictures. Mrs. Conlon started to cry as we pinned the boutonnieres on each other.

Then it was off to Jack's mansion for the more formal pictures with our friends. We got there just as Blink and Crosser were arriving. Everyone else, Jack, Curly, Skitts, Braids, Mush, and Peanut, were already there. We set up for pictures in front of the big weeping cherry tree in front of Jack's house. We had the some tradition, serious pictures, but we also had some funny ones, like all the guys doing the 'Charlie's Angels' pose.

Finally, we all piled into the limo and se off for the half hour ride to the Ocean Hilton Hotel, where the prom was being held. That's where the real fun began. It was only my second time in a limo, so I was playing with all the buttons, much to the annoyance of my friends.

When we arrived at the hotel, many limos were already there, but there were a few behind us. Everyone got out and started to go inside. Spot and I were the last ones out.

"You ready?" He asked me.

"Yup. You?"

"I will be," He said, and then he lightly kissed me. When we pulled away, he continued. "Now I am. Come one. Prom is waiting!"

We walked into the hotel and down the stairs to the dance. We were met by blasting music, bright lights flashing at us, and a red carpet. The theme was 'Hollywood Nights.' Everyone got the 'red carpet' treatment as they walked in, with the teachers pretending to be paparazzi, taking your picture as you entered.

Inside, the dance floor was basically empty. All the students were either sitting around their tables or congregating in clumps around the edges of the hall. My friends and I maneuvered our way to a table in the back to drop our stuff. The girls immediately dropped their purses and pulled off their shoes, complaining of sore feet. Girls… I don't get why they just have to have the perfect shoes when they take them off two seconds into the dance anyway!

After a few minutes of just sitting around, the DJ announced that the dance floor was now officially open. Curly, Peanut, Crosser, and Braids immediately jumped up, pulling their guys behind them and ran to the middle of the floor. That left Spot and I alone at the table. I didn't really fell like dancing yet, since we just got there, so we sat our that song. But as soon as the next song started, Curly rushed over to us.

"Come on, you two! Get your asses on the floor now!" She called to us, as she grabbed our arms and dragged us over to the dance floor. Once we got there, she persisted, "No dance! It's Prom. Live a little, would ya?"

Spot smirked at her, turned to me and asked, "Would you care to dance?"

"Why, of course I would," I answered, laughing.

Thus started our non-stop dance-athon. When I said before that I suck at dancing, I wasn't lying. Spot had to teach me how to do everything! But eventually I got the hang of it, and we were on that floor for every song, fast, slow, anything. We did everything from grinding (which, might I add, Spot is an excellent grinder) and the Cotton-eyed Joe, to the YMCA and the Cha Cha Slide.

As always, people were staring. But I didn't care. It was Prom, and no one was gonna ruin it for me. Not even Brady. I still can't believe I did that…

Spot and I were grinding when we heard him.

"Oh great, we have to share the floor with the _fags_," Brady said, and as usual, he posse laughed as though Brady was a god.

I broke away from Spot and was determined to end this once and for all.

"Ok, you know what Brady? Fuck off. I know why you're doing this… It's 'cause you're pissed that my date is hotter than yours."

Brady's jaw dropped at my outburst, as my friends who heard me started cracking up and encouraging me on, especially Spot.

But Brady's bimbo-girl Darcy didn't think it was so funny. "He called me ugly! Brady, so something!" She whined, very annoyingly.

Brady snapped to attention. "What did you just say, queer?"

"You heard your bitch. I said that my date is hotter than yours and your pissed at that fact." I said, surprising myself at how calm I was. I glanced around and saw many people starting to intently watch our 'scene.'

"You little fag," Brady started. "How dare you-"

Spot cut him off. "Oh you know it's true. You know you want me. You know you do all of this just to cover it up," Spot said, smirking.

This created even more laughter. Even some of HIS friends started chuckling along with everybody else. Brady couldn't come up with something to say, and stood there, gaping like an idiot, scanning the gaping the laughing crowd, all while growing redder by the second.

"How do you like it now, huh?" I said, gesturing to the crowd. "The tables are turned. They're laughing at _you_ now, not us. How do you like _that_?"

He glared at me one last time, and then grabbed Darcy's hand and said, as he pushed his way toward the exit, "Come on Darcy… This prom blows."

"So long asshole!" I called out, my smile a mile wide. Spot squeezed my shoulders as we turned toward our friends. They high-fived us, and congratulated us on standing up to Brady.

I felt like I could fly. I finally stood up to him... And it worked!

After the excitement died down, Spot and I finally got back on the dance floor. This time, no one made fun of us. After another hour or so, the DJ had an announcement to make.

"Ok kids, time for the last dance of the night. So grab your special someone and get on the floor. And now, your Prom song 2004, Aerosmith's 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing."

The floor immediately filled up with every couple, arm and arm. I will never forget that dance. Spot and I fit together perfectly, his arms around me and mine around him.

When the song was almost over, I finally got up the guts to say something.

"Spot, I had an amazing night tonight."

He smiled. "Me too."

"And I just want to say something…" I took a breath and continued. "I… I love you."

Spot lifted up his head and looked me right in the eye. Squeezing my hand, he replied, "I love you too." And then he kissed me.

At that moment, I didn't care that I was making out with Spot in front of the entire senior class. I was floating on air as we kissed, still dancing to the song.

I will never forget this night. It was amazing. Can't wait for the rest of this weekend!

-Racetrack

* * *

**A/N**: -squeals- I honestly LOVE the way this came out! Hehe…

Next chappie- Prom weekend! Should be out soon… I have half of it written already!

**Shoutouts**

**Singin'-newsies-goil**: GUARD ROCKS MY SOCKS! Lol.. thankies!

**Shadowsdancingdragons**: you're going to Ireland? –is extremely jealous- hehe.. thankies!

**Saturday**: Dude, seriously, I love your reviews.. they make me laugh so much! I 3 the Brady Bunch mockery song, and the strike in the bowling alley! Hehe.. thanks so much!

**StrawberriShake**: lol.. prom bids are what my school calls the tix, and the boutonneires are the flowers the guys wear on their lapels… Newsies in bathing suits is HOT! And you bet there will be more of that coming up! Thankies!

**BitterSweetDragon**: thankies! Glad ya liked it!

**Madison Square**: hehe.. guys in tuxes (esp Race or Spot) is HOT! Lol thankies!

**Air**: DON'T KILL THEM! Is this a fast enough update? Lol thankies!!

**Coin**: Seaside rocks! That's next chappie!! Hehe thanks for the review!

**Fir3CatL0v3r**: Sprace rocks! Hehe thankies!

**Scout73**: AHH! You did do an email review.. I was jus an idiot and deleted it! lol.. sry! Anywho- thankies for both chappie reviews!

**BlueBoxer**: hehe bumpers are a GOD in bowling… lol.. hope ya like the prom! Thanks!

**LiamsKitten**: Hehehe! I'm glad I got ur review in time to give ya a shoutout! Thankies!

Okies, it's that time again… REVIEW!

**.braids.**


	19. Ch 19 Prom Weekend

**The Journal of Racetrack Higgins Ch 19 – Prom Weekend**

**Disclaimer**: SLASH. Don't like it? Don't read it! I don't own any of the newsies. Everything else, I either own or it's a real place/person.

**A/N**: I AM ALIVE. More from me afterwards. Enjoy! :)

* * *

**6/7/04**

This weekend was friggin' awesome. I had a blast.

After Prom ended, the six guys and the four girls piled back into the limo and drove to Skitt's Seaside beach house. We had the house to ourselves, since his dad was away on business. The house is amazing. It's literally right on the beach, and the boardwalk is just a few blocks away.

By the time we got there, it was almost one am, but no one was going to bed. I mean, come on. What's a prom without an after-prom party? And of course, no after-prom party is complete without a little, um, _ahem_, a lot of beer. Within an hour, we were all totally smashed.

Ya know, I just realized the last time I was drunk was New Year's… and that day changed my life, for the better!

Ahem. Back to the story…

As per the normal for drunkenness, crazy things were bound to happen. Nothing really exciting from the girls- they basically were just dancing their asses off to the music we blasted.

The guys on the other hand… I guess we all have bad tolerance or something, because we got really crazy. Skitts was running around his house screaming at the top of his lungs, Mush was singing 'This is the song that never ends' loudly over and over again, and Blink was yelling at him to stop. Jack was just grinding with Curley. Spot and I? Standing on the couch, having pillow fights. Now _that_ was fun.

The night went on in its drunken glory, leading way to all of us passing out. You can bet we woke up with one hell of a hangover.

At like two o'clock, I woke up, the first out of all of us. I was sprawled out on the couch, and Spot was next to me, snoring loudly, with an arm and a leg hanging over the couch. I gently nudged him awake. He opened his eyes, squinted against the light and covered his eyes with his hands.

"Ah, Race, why'd ya wake me up?"

"Ya gotta get up sometime."

"But I have a headache…" He moaned, holding his head.

"Aww, poor baby."

"Shut up." He uncovered his eyes to his me, but immediately winced and covered them again. "Damn you hangovers!"

I laughed, but proceeded to wince myself, for I too had a humongous headache.

Eventually, everyone woke up, feeling the same symptoms as Spot and I. Once everyone was hangover free (which wasn't until seven o'clock-ish), we took to the Boardwalk for pizza and just plain 'ole fun.

Boardwalk pizza is delicious, especially The Sawmill's pizza, which, of course, is why we when there. They have the best pizza on the shore.

After pizza, we started walking the boardwalk to get to Casino Pier. Halfway there, I wanted to crawl up and die from embarrassment when this happened.

"Under the boardwalk… Down by the sea…"

Yup, that's right. Braids and Crosser started singing at the top of their lungs. People were staring at us like we were crazy as we passed them. Finally, Skittery and Blink shut their girlfriends up, _thank god_. I truly feel sorry for Skitts… Braids can be _really_ annoying sometimes…

::_shudders_:: ok, I gonna stop thinking 'bout that now…

Once we got to Casino Pier, we started playing game after game. Everyone won at least one thing, well, except for me. I suck at arcade games. Seriously, I can never win. Oh well… Spot won a huge stuffed animal of Puss in Boots and gave it to me, so I don't care.

Overall, the boardwalk was fun. We got back to Skitts's house around one-thirty. Someone suggested more beer, but everyone agreed to not drink anymore… None of us wanted the hangover again, especially since we were going to the beach the next day.

We decided to put on a movie instead. Van Wilder was picked to watch. Now that's a funny movie. Disgusting at times, but funny. Most of us feel asleep during it. Come to think of it, everyone but Spot and I did.

So there we were, lying on the couch, my head in his lap, talking quietly as to not wake anyone up. We talked for what seemed like hours.

What did we talk about? Everything. Prom, graduation, summer, college… you name it, we mentioned it. The hardest part was talking about college. We both told all about our fears for next year, and it was basically the same thoughts… Would we last? 

Spot said that out loud, and it lingered in the air for a while, for neither of us knew what to say.

But lying there, staring up into his eyes, I knew I would do whatever I could to make our long-distance relationship work during college. And I told him that. He smiled, and bent down to kiss me, saying he knew I would.

Eventually, we both drifted off to sleep. The next morning was beach day.

Ah, Jersey. Gotta love the beach. But gotta hate the benny's. You know, the annoying tourists coming from northern Jersey or Pennsylvania just to go to the beach? Yeah, them. They crowd up the beach so much!

Anyway, back to the beach. As soon as we found a spot, we dropped our stuff, and the guys made a mad dash for the water. The girls opted to just sit and tan. Oh well… their loss.

The ocean was freezing, but we're used to it, for freezing water is the normal for June. We were rowdy as ever in the water, dunking each other over and over.

After swimming for a while, we got out and went to our stuff, only to find the girls sound asleep. Blink had a great idea.

"Hey guys, let's wake them up with some water!"

We all agreed. We took a few empty water bottles, filled them with the freezing ocean water, and dumped them on the sleeping girls. The shrieks that followed left a ringing in my ears for a while. Braids, of course, was the worst.

"AHHH!" She screamed, jumping up from her chair, soaking wet. "Skitts, I'm gonna KILL you!" With that, she started chasing him. She eventually caught up with him and dumped handfuls of sand in his hair. He's _still_ trying to get all the sand out.

Eventually, they calmed down, and Spot suggested volleyball, for the net had just been vacated. We jumped at the chance. And of course, I was openly staring at Spot, in all his wet, shirtless glory playing volleyball. But I have a reason this time. No longer did I have to worry about someone catching me stare.

…Actually, not true. Jack did catch me staring at him, and all the guys jokingly made fun of me. Oh, how I _love_ my friends. Luckily, this time, the ball didn't smack me in the head.

We stayed on the beach all day, and into the night.

My favorite moment? Kissing Spot as the sun was setting. I forgot all my apprehensions about college and graduation, and was lost in his kiss. I know I'm gonna miss him next year.

All in all, it was a great weekend. Two weeks until graduation. And finals are coming up too. What fun! Oh well… Later!

-Racetrack.

* * *

**A/N**: WOOHOO! I got over my writer's block! And it ain't that bad either! Hehe…

Sorry for the lack of update-age. I had a really bad bit of writer's block, plus I didn't have time at all to write. Hope ya like it!

**Shout Outs**

**Night**: Aww thankies so much! I'm glad you liked it!

**Saturday**: HEHE.. yup, there is such a thing as a weeping cherry tree- I have one in my front yard! lol.. aww thankies! I 3 your reviews… they make me feel special! lol..

**Scout73**: hehe Brady deserved it! ..heh.. my promptness with the update wasn't good this time.. lol.. oh well, thankies!

**Coin**: hope ya liked the Seaside action! Hehe.. thankies!

**Snorts**: hehe it's okies.. thanks for the review!

**singin'-newsies-goil**: hehe thankies! ..Band Camp! AH! Aug 16-20th for us! Lol thanks again!

**Cards1899**: aww thanks so much for the review!

**StrawberriShake**: guys in tuxes –drools- lol.. thankies for the review!

**Madison Square**: that song is great, isn't it? lol.. thanks so much!

**BlueBoxer**: Hollywood was my school's theme this year too! hehe.. I 3 all those dances too! lol thankies!

**Flit**: hehe I always take my shoes off too! lol thankies so much!

Okies, ya know what time it is… REVIEW TIME! Click the button.. come on, you know you want to!

**.Braids.**


	20. Ch 20 Graduation

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH20 – GRADUATION**

**Disclaimer**: Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it. Plus, I don't own the newsies.

**A/N**: yes, you're reading right… IT'S AN UPDATE! Wow, has it really been almost a month? Stupid writer's block…. Anywho, enjoy! :)

* * *

**6/18/04**

School can just go and die. Thank god finals are over. I just finished my last one, but was the hardest- Calculus. At least I was exempted from two of my finals – History and Marketing… the two easiest classes ever.

Graduation is Tuesday. I can't believe it's finally here. These four years have flown by so fast, especially this year. It seems like just yesterday I walked into these hallways as a 'lowly freshman,' terrified of the 'scary seniors.' Now I'm one of those 'scary seniors,' and it's just so unbelievable that I only have two more days of school.

I may complain about North a lot, but it's my high school. They say your high school years are the best years of your life. I definitely believe that. I mean, how can I not? Look at this year alone – I'm finally who I really am, and Spot and I are together.

Sure there's been some tough times this past year… My mom being the main one. But I've gotten through that, with the help of Mrs. Conlon and Spot.

Oh god, this entry is starting to sound like one of those stupid, sappy, reminiscing kinds. I'm gonna stop now.

Oh I forgot… My dad called a few hours ago. He's flying in for graduation. I haven't seen in so long.

Later,

-Racetrack

**6/23/04**

NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL EVER! I AM GRADUATED!

Ok, I'm calm… I'm calm…

Graduation was frickin' awesome though. It was outside at the football stadium. The only problem was that it was sweltering hot under those robes because of the stupid humidity, but it was worth it.

Oh, another thing that sucked was seating. I was near nobody. Since there are so many people in my class, unless their last name starts with the same letter, you are nowhere near them. Spot was up front, Jack was diagonally in back of me, and Mush, Skitts, and Blink were way in the back. I was four rows from the front.

The speeches from Leonard and the superintendent were long and boring. I found it hard not to laugh, because, as like it was from a teen movie, inflatable beach balls started appearing and began being tosses around the field. You could see Leonard twitching as he was talking, eyeing all the kids who were playing with the balls, but nobody cared. In a little while, we would be free of high school forever.

Then the class president, the band's drum major Cody, spoke. His was actually entertaining, because he is such a funny guy, and was cracking joke after joke about the other class officers and teachers.

After what seemed like eternity, it was finally time to get our diplomas. You can bet I cheered my ass off when Spot was called. …Not like I didn't cheer for the rest of my friends… I just cheered more for him…

Walking up to the front and getting my diploma? That feeling was incredible – I just was handed a paper that stood for all my hard work these past four years. I graduated. It's still unreal.

After everyone was through, Cody spoke again.

"OK, guys, this is what you've been waiting for. Flip your tassels! GO CLASS OF '04!" With that, the air was filled with blue and gold motor board hats and cheers. The orderly rows ceased to exist, and everyone went off searching for friends and family.

Which meant for me, Spot. And I did something I never expected myself to do – I grabbed him and kissed him, right there in the open. We were never one for PDA in the halls, or anywhere for that matter, especially 'cause of the bashing. The only time we've ever kissed in public was Valentine's Day.

But I didn't care. Even as I heard Brady curse at us, I didn't stop… I just flipped him the finger.

Then we made our way over to Mrs. Conlon, her boyfriend Mark, Hailey, and my dad. This was the first time I saw my dad, since his flight was delayed and by the time he got to the Conlon's, Spot and I were already gone.

"Congratulations, son" He said, as we approached. Hearing the word 'son' coming from an actual parent of mine was something I haven't heard in a while. It felt good to hear again.

"I missed you so much, Dad," I said, as I gave him a big hug, which he reciprocated.

As we made our way to the parking lot, we met up with the rest of our friends. Mrs. Conlon was going picture crazy, while crying hysterically. It was quite funny, actually.

Finally, we left North (for good! Hooray!) and everyone followed us back to the Conlon's house, since she was having a Barbeque/pool party for the graduates.

So it was me, Spot, Jack, Skitts, Mush, Blink, and the parentals. But they kept to themselves, over by where Mark was serving alcohol. Parents and alcohol mixed together is extremely entertaining and hilarious. Unfortunately, they wouldn't give a drop to us graduates. Oh well… we had fun without it.

The party was the normal rough playing in the pool for us - Throwing each other in, water gun fights, noodle fights, and chicken fights, plus the traditional volleyball game. Spot, Skitts, and I whooped Jack, Blink, and Mush's asses so bad.

That's basically it. My dad's staying for a week, so I'll get to catch up with him and everything, so that's good.

Well, I might as well go, so…

Wait, hold up… I just looked out my window… Was that a 'For Sale' sign on the front lawn of my house? It can't be. If she does that, I don't know what I'll do… I gotta go talk to my dad.

Later

-Racetrack

* * *

**A/N**: HOLY SH-T I GOT IT DONE! …But it majorly sucks. Sorry 'bout the lack of update-age. I had a REALLY bad case of writer's block.

I have three more reviews before two-hundred… Cookies for the 200th reviewer!

**Shout Outs**

**Poker O'Shea: **it's alright, you're reviewing now! Lol thankies!

**BitterSweetDragon**: hehe.. the shore is better now! Thanks!

**Air**: hope you're having fun! Thanks for the review!

**LiamsKitten**: I 3 Puss in Boots! Hehe.. and yes, I realized bout the prom in the titles thingy… lol! Thankies.

**Scout73**: hehe… thankies for the review!

**Strawberri Shake**: ShirtlessWet!Spot is HOT! (ha! That rhymes! Lol I amuse myself way to easily…) Pt. is better, but I know Seaside better, so yeah.. thankies!

**Saturday**: Aw, girl, I 3 your reviews SO much! Lol the volleyball scene was meant to do that! Hehe.. thankies!

**Coin**: Thanks for the review!! Glad ya liked it!

**Cards1899**: aw thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

**BlueBoxer**: Jack grinding with Cruthcy… hehe! Funny mental image there… Thankies!

Okies, you know what time it is. Yup, that's right- REVIEW TIME! Remember, cookies to the two-hundredth reviewer!!

**.Braids.**


	21. Ch 21 The Wrath of Mighty Spot Conlon

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS**

**Ch 21- The Wrath of the Mighty Spot Conlon**

**Disclaimer: **same as always. I don't feel like putting it this time.

**A/N**: -peeks out from behind a wall- I'm alive! Wow… over a month with no update… bad (and lazy) me… Well, more from me afterwards. Enjoy!

* * *

**6/24/04**

My mom's moving. That's a fact. I guess her and Denton were pretty serious with their relationship, because they're engaged. She's moving into his apartment as soon as the house sells.

I can't believe she's selling it. I've lived in that house my entire life. Just because I don't live there now doesn't mean I don't miss my house.

'Cause I do. A lot.

You know what I miss most? My room. The Conlon's guest room is nice and all, but my room is _my _room. It's been my room since I was a baby. I miss my bed the most out of anything in my room. My bed is huge (it's a double) and so comfy, and I always feel asleep almost instantly. The bed here is only a single and kinda hard. I've gotten used to it, but still… And now my room is never gonna be my room again.

Oh, and don't think I found all this out from talking to my mom, 'cause I didn't. As soon as I told my dad yesterday about the sign, he immediately got up, stormed over to her house, and knocked on the door.

And let me tell you – Their encounter was _not_ pretty. They screamed and yelled at each other for so long.

Since they were arguing on the porch (my mom never let him in), and since the Conlon's windows were open, I could hear everything.

Hearing them argue like that brought back so many bad memories. That was the way they always argued before (well, and during) the divorce. I hated it. I mean, what kid likes hearing their parents scream their heads off at each other?

But this time, most of their arguments were about me, not who cheated on who, like it was during the divorce. Normally, I would have run up to my room and blasted the radio. But this time, I listened, as I wanted to see what they said about me.

And some of the things my mom said about me… It hurt more than anything Brady or anyone of those stupid homophobic jocks at school had said. The reason? This time it was my _mother_ saying them.

This was the worst…

"He's your **_SON_**, goddamn it!" My dad screamed.

"_Son_? Hell no. He is **_NOT_** my son. He is a fuckin' faggot. No ass-fucking queer will ever be my son."

Yeah… My _mother_ said that.

After that, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran upstairs, slammed the door, and blasted my music.

I guess Spot thought I was gonna go back to that routine again, 'cause he immediately came and knocked on my door. I let him in for a few minutes, but all I wanted to do was be alone. Even his kiss didn't change my mind.

I just wanted to be alone.

But don't think I'm gonna start that self-pitying depression again, because I'm not. I learned my lesson on that. I know I have people surrounding me that love me, in three different ways - Spot as a boyfriend would, Mrs. Conlon as a mother would, and Hailey as a little sister would. And now, for at least the next few days, my father.

For that, I am grateful, because without them, I honestly don't know what I would have done this past year.

Well, I'm tired. Goodnight.

-Racetrack

**7/5/04**

Happy Fourth of July! A day late, but oh well…

Spot and I went to the fireworks at Seaside last night. It's a tradition; we've always gone together since we were twelve. Except this year we went alone, without parents. Why? Well I kinda don't have the parents to go with… (Don't ask about that subject. I really don't want to bring my good mood down by thinking of a certain someone.) And as for Mrs. Conlon? Mark, her boyfriend, was hosting a barbeque for his work, and of course we didn't want to go that that, so we went alone.

It was great… Not even the very annoying Benny's could ruin it, for we were at a secluded beach that only us locals know where it is located.

We got there around eight-ish, just as the sun began its slow descent. I set up the blanket we brought to sit on while the fireworks went off, while Spot went to get us food.

After we ate, we still had a little over a half-hour to kill, so we just lay there talking, with me absent-mindedly tracing imaginary patterns on Spot's legs.

"Do you realize this is the last Fourth we have before college?" Spot asked me.

I looked up at him. "Since when are you so sentimental?"

He shrugged. "It's just… You're leaving next month, and I'm stuck here. You're gonna meet all new people, and who knows where you'll be this time next year." He dropped his gaze and his head, and added quietly, "…you'll probably have forgotten all about me by then anyway."

I stopped my tracing and pushed his chin up, forcing eye contact. "Spot. You and I both know that'll never happen."

"I guess."

"No guessing. You know I've liked you since freakin' sophomore year! Do you really think now that we're actually together that I'm gonna throw it all away?"

His lips started to turn into a small smile. "You're right." His smile grew into an almost mischievous grin. "And if you do forget me, I will find you wherever you are, and you will feel the 'wrath of the mighty Spot Conlon!"

I let out a snort-laugh, and asked, "And what, pray tell, exactly is involved in your 'wrath?'"

"This!" With that, he grabbed a handful of sand and chucked it right into my hair.

My reaction? Screaming like a girl, of course.

"YOU ARE DEAD WHEN I CATCH YOU, CONLON!"

Thus, ensued a cross between a chase and a sand war, since we were chasing each other, all while hurling chunks of sand. Weird, I know.

I finally caught him, though. It was pretty funny too- I dove onto the sand, grabbing wildly and hoping to catch some part of his body to make him trip. Lucky for me, I managed to wrap my arms around his ankles. He fell face first into the sand. He only had time to turn around onto his back before I pounced on top of him to not let him get up.

"So was that it? Was that all of the 'wrath of the mighty Spot Conlon?'"

Spot smirked up at me. "Hell no. I'm smarter than that. Flinging sand in your hair was just the start."

"Oh yeah? What can you possibly do to me now that I'm sitting on you?"

He laughed, and said, "Oh, I know just the thing." He reached up and brought our faces together and kissed me hard. But he only let it last a few seconds.

I fake-pouted. "You're just gonna leave me there?"

He smirked again. "Yup."

"Well, now you're gonna feel the 'wrath of Racetrack Higgins!'" I said, as I grabbed yet another handful of sand, this time dumping it into Spot's hair.

Before he could do anything, I grabbed his flailing arms, pinning them down.

Spot glared at me. "You'll get what's coming to ya, Higgins!"

I laughed, and replied, "Oh, I don't doubt that. But for now, let's finish what you started." As I leaned forward to kiss him, the fireworks started in the sky.

Needless to say, we didn't see much of the fireworks.

…But you can be we made plenty of fireworks together!

Later.

-Racetrack

* * *

**A/N**: wow… totally not how this chapter was supposed to go at all, but it works!

School started now, so most likely more frequent updates, because I write better when I'm in class, 'supposedly' paying attention. (not promising anything though!)

And, as promised, cookies for my 200th reviewer, Myya Conlon!! (Shadowsdancingdragon)!

**Shout Outs**

No time for total shout outs, but thanks to:

**icanreadncount**

**Erin Go Bragh**

**Shadowsdancingdragon**

**Nakaia Aidan-Sun**

**Saturday**

**Repeat**

**Scout73**

**Half Pint**

**Strawberri Shake**

**Liams Kitten**

**Poker O'Shea**

THANK YOU to all of you… Over 200 reviews… all I can say is WOW!

Now, you know what time it is… Make me happy, REVIEW!

**-Braids-**


	22. Ch 22 The Roommate

**The Journal of Racetrack Higgins – Ch 22 – The Roommate**

**Disclaimer:** SLASH. Don't like it? Don't read it. And I don't own the Newsies.

**A/N:** I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING THIS! woo! lol. Enjoy:)

* * *

**7/15/04**

So I just got off the phone with my roommate for college. I got the packet a few days ago, but never got around to calling him. But he called me this afternoon.

His name's David Jacobs. He lives in Long Island, and has an older sister, Sarah, and a younger brother, Les. He's also extremely smart… I'm talking like number-one-in-his-class smart.

He seemed pretty nice on the phone. It's amazing how quickly two people can just click. We talked for a long time, at least an hour and a half. We told each other the basics… our likes, dislikes, personality, favorite movie, color, etc. And we exchanged AIM screen-names, so we can talk online too.

And I told his everything. Well, except one _teeny-tiny_ detail.

Ok, scratch that 'teeny-tiny' part.

Yeah. I didn't tell him I was gay.

I don't know why, I just didn't. It's just, this one little part of me still wants to hide it from people I don't really know, simply because of the fact I don't know how he would react. Like, what if I told him, and he turned out to be a Brady-clone?

…Oh, god. I don't even wanna _think_ about the possibility of that. I mean, I have to _live_ with him for the next year!

Anyway, I'd rather tell him in person, after I've actually met the guy. Plus, I didn't want to get into the topic of my mother ranting, because I know I would scare him by how pissed off I am at her.

There. I justified my reason. Just so you know.

Oh, on the whole mother-issue. My house sold. I saw the sign this morning. It's really happening – my house is being sold. Someone will be living and sleeping in my room. It's just… I don't know. I hate the thought of that.

…I really don't want to ramble on and on about how much I hate my mother, so I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead.

On a happier note, summer's been pretty good. Shitty weather though… I fuckin' hate the damn Jersey humidity. You go outside for two seconds, and already are covered it sweat. Oh well… that's what we get for living here. Freezing cold winters, and hot, humid summers. Figures.

Spot and I go to the Seaside or Point Pleasant boardwalks at least three times a week, seeing as that basically is the only thing to do during the summer in this stupid town. I still can't believe MTV actually did their summer shows from Seaside… Twice! Seaside is such a shitty boardwalk. But hey, it's a hang out, so we go.

Sometimes Blink or Jack has a party, which is always fun. And of course, volleyball on the beach, basically everyday. I seriously am black from being so tan. It's the Italian in me, I swear.

Well, I gotta go. Mrs. Conlon's calling me for dinner.

Later.

-Racetrack

**7/18/04**

I've been talking on AIM almost every day with Davey. I love his screen-name – WalkingMouth12. He said it's an inside joke between him and his friends. But it's such a funny name!

I've learned so much about him… About his friends, his life, his hobbies. He's lived his whole like in Long Island, and works in the city during the summer. Oh and get this… He loves poker! We are _so_ gonna get along great. But he betta be prepared to lose a LOT of cash… I've also told him many things as well.

…And yet I still haven't told him. Shut up, I know.

Oh – and we exchanged pictures with each other. He's pretty cute. He has this unruly curly brown hair, which he called his 'Jew-fro' and these gorgeous blue eyes. I swear, they are such a clear blue, I could look at them for hours…

… Oh shit. –slaps self- You have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend…

Speaking of that… Spot's been acting weird these past few days. Kinda sulky-ish and not talkative. Especially when I bring up the subject of Davey.

-shrugs- I don't know why. Maybe he's getting sick or something.

Oh well. That's about it for now.

-Racetrack

**7/22/04**

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. And did I mention shit?

What the fuck just happened? Why did he say those things? And WHY did I say those things?

Ya know how I said Spot was acting weird? Well now I know why… He just blew up.

I had just finished an AIM conversation with Davey, in which he sent me another picture of him, when Spot came into my room. Dave had just told me he had bought this cool futon thing for our dorm room, and I wanted to tell Spot.

"Hey Spot, guess what? I was just talking to-"

He cut me off. "Lemme guess… Davey."

His harsh tone made me look up at him, but his face was unreadable. I simply answered, "Yeah…"

Spot groaned. "All you ever do anymore is talk to him or about him to me. I'm getting fuckin' sick and tired."

"Yeah, but can you blame me? He IS gonna be my roommate next year."

Spot rolled his eyes, and looked past me to the computer screen, where Dave's new picture was still open. "Another picture. Great. Just great. Now tell me, just _how_ many times have you jerked off looking at that?"

I blinked at him, not knowing why he was being so harsh. "Are you serious?"

Spot glared at me, his eyes boring holes into my skin. "Extremely."

I knew then he WAS being serious, and not just joking, and became furious at the thought that he suspected I actually would do that.

"Jealous, much?"

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you _ever_ call me jealous. I was just stating what is obviously going on. I _do_ have eyes and ears."

I stared at him, incredulously. How could he honestly think that? My anger got the best of me. "Just because I'm going to college and gonna have a new roommate next year, and mind you, you _aren't_, doesn't mean that I would even think of cheating."

I still don't know why I said that, as I know the college-issue was a touchy subject with Spot. I just couldn't help it from coming out of my mouth.

Spot's hard glared flickered for an instant, but immediately became even more intense. "Don't go there. Don't you _dare_ bring up that."

"Oh, I just did bring it up. And for your information, Dave doesn't even know I'm gay yet; so don't jump to conclusions before you know the facts. I haven't told him yet."

"Ok, I get it now. He doesn't know your jerking off to his picture. And another thing… Are you ashamed of me?"

"What? Ashamed? Why would I be ashamed?" I didn't get why he suddenly switched topics like that.

"You haven't told him about you and me yet. Therefore, you're ashamed of me. You want to hide our relationship from him."

"That's not true!" I said, defensively. "I'm not ashamed. It's just…"

"Just what?" He answered back, challenging.

"I just wanna wait till I meet him in person."

"You mean once I'm not there. Once I'm out of the picture. Because just like you oh-so-nicely stated before, I'm NOT going away. So you don't have to worry about parading me around to everyone. I see how it is."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. I lost it. "Ya know what, Spot? Fuck off. You don't know what you are talking about. So just leave me the fuck alone."

"So you can fantasize about Davey? Fine. Go do that. See what I care. And have a nice life." He stalked out of the room, and slammed the door.

That was last night. We haven't spoken since. Breakfast this morning was complete hell.

I don't know what to do. I'm not apologizing, because he made one hell of an accusation. And it ain't true!

…Well, mostly not true.

…

…Ok, I admit it. I like Dave. I've never even met the guy, but already I'm getting those 'crush' feelings in the pit of my stomach whenever we talk, either on AIM or the phone. And not to mention, he ain't all that bad looking.

Oh shit. After writing that on paper, I realize just how much I've talked about Dave and college and all that stuff to Spot in the past week.

And I can just imagine the thoughts running through Spot's mind. He probably just got fed up with me and exploded.

…Why am I not apologizing again? I blew up on him too. I brought up the college thing. This has really made me think.

I really should go and try to talk to him. If he even would let me.

And I just wonder… If something like this basically breaks us up, and the fact that I _am_ living with Dave in a little less than a month, how da hell are Spot and I gonna last?

-Racetrack

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, don't kill me. For two reasons… one, for the lack of updates on this fic, and for what I just happened and that cliffhanger. I know, I'm evil like that. 

Wow. I haven't updated this since September. And it's February. I'm SO bad. lol. Stupid writer's block.

and my stupid ffn profile won't let me update it. Says that my penname is already taken. Yeah.. by ME! lol.

**Shout-outs**:

**Scout73**: Fantabulous is an awesome word! Hehe… thankies:)

**ErinGoBragh**: Aw thanks! I 3 you. Thanks for the review!

**Snorts90**: Nah, I live in Jersey. Lol. Thankies!

**Air**: I UPDATED! Can I come out of your closet now? Please? LOL. Thankies!

**Saturday**: HEHE I love your reviews. They always make me laugh! Thanks!

**Shadowsdancingdragon**: Ugh. I HATE the grapes of wrath. Hehe. Thankies!

**Strawberri Shake**: BERRI! –glomps- I AM TALKING TO YOU NOW! Lol. 222 you!

**Blue Boxer**: HEHE I 3 you. Thanks!

**Nakaia Aidan-Sun**: Thanks for the review! Glad ya liked it!

**Specsglasses**: Two-year-old talk is fun! Lol Thankies!

**Icanreadncount**: 4th of July rocks! Thanks!

**LiamsKitten**: don't die from shock! NO! lol I 3 you! Thanks!

**Singin'-Newsies-goil**: I AM insane! Hehe… thankies!

**Cards1899**: hehe Thankies for the review!

…now, make me happy… **REVIEW!**

**-Braids**


	23. Ch 23 Make Up or Break Up?

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Ch23 – Make up or break up?**

**A/N**: FINALLY updating this dang fic. Hehe. Anywho, more from me afterwards! Enjoy:)

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**7/23/04**

Yesterday and the day before were not good days. Not at all. And for the most part, it was my fault. But I made up for it, and today was actually pretty good.

I decided I needed to go and talk to Spot and apologize (read: beg for forgiveness for my stupid actions). I had no idea what I was gonna say, or if he would even talk to me, but I tried anyway.

I knocked on his door, praying he'd let me in.

"Who is it?" Spot called out.

"It's me." I could hear him groan inside.

"What the fuck do you want?" His harsh tone made me wince.

"Spot, please… can we just talk?"

"Oh, so you can brag about Dave and college and everything else, and shove it in my face?"

"God, Spot…" I didn't care what he was doing. I needed to talk about this face-to-face, so I opened the door. All he was doing was lying on his bed, flipping channels. As soon as he saw me open the door, he clicked off the TV and sat up.

"Who told you that you could come in? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't."

"Spot," I said firmly, locking eyes with him. "Please. We _need_ to talk about this."

He groaned again. "Fine. Talk. But there's no guarantee it'll do anything."

I took a deep breath, and then started. "First off, I just want to say I'm sorry. For everything."

Spot snorted. "Yeah, like I'm gonna take that pathetic excuse of an apology."

"Can I finish? Thanks. Ok, I know I hurt you. A lot. Not just with the constant talk about Dave, but what I said about college too. I shouldn't have said those things."

"No shit, Sherlock. That was a low blow."

"Well so was what you said, about me jerkin' off to Dave's picture!"

"Hey, I was only stating the truth."

"It is NOT the truth."

"Will you fuckin' _quit_ lying and just tell me the truth once and awhile? 'Cause it's pissing me off."

"Spot… I… Please just STOP." I yelled loudly.

"What?" Spot looked at me, annoyed.

"Please, I didn't come here to fight again. God, what is happening to us? Why are we biting each other's head? Why can't we just talk civilly to each other anymore? Spot, I only have one month left here before college starts. I don't wanna spend that time fighting."

"…Neither do I," Spot said, not making eye contact, and then added quietly, "Is it really only a month away?"

I nodded. "August Twenty-fifth."

Spot looked up at me, and asked, "Maybe we can try peacefully talking?"

"I'd like that." I said, smiling at him.

And we actually did. Neither of us raised our voices, bit the other's head off, or cursed. The only thing is that parts were tension-filled and awkward.

Especially when it came time for me to actually say out loud my feelings for Dave.

"Ok, I know you're not jerking off to him or anything, but, honestly, what are your true feelings for him?" Spot asked, almost nervously.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly began telling Spot the truth. The _whole_ truth, including how I was developing a sort of crush on Dave. Even though I didn't want to feel that way, I did. As I was talking, I couldn't bring myself to look at Spot, for I knew what I was saying was hurting him.

After I finished explaining, I forced myself to look at him. I figured he'd be mad, or at least look a tad pissed off, but instead he look kinda sad, and very un-Spot like. He was looking down, and was unconsciously, perhaps even nervously, playing with the drawstrings on his sweatpants. He didn't say anything for a minute or so afterwards, and the silence was completely nerve-racking.

"Spot… please say something. Anything." I pleaded with him.

He looked up at me, his blue eyes meeting mine. For once, his eyes actually showed his emotions, and I could see just how much I had hurt him. I felt awful.

He finally spoke. "What is there to say? Race, you just told me you like another guy. And said guy is going to be your roommate for the next year. How am I supposed to act?"

I nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sorry. You don't know how hard I tried to fight this feeling. But Spot, I love _you_. You know that, right?"

Spot half-smiled. "Yeah, I know… But what's gonna happen to us? Yes, I know we both over-reacted before, but truthfully, I don't know if I can fully trust you once you go away."

I sighed. "I don't even know if he's gay yet. Most likely he ain't. Hell, he doesn't even know _I'm_ gay yet. Which, by the way, I've decided to tell him the next time we talk. Because I sure as hell am _not_ ashamed of you."

"I know… It's just… frustrating. I don't want to lose you. Race, you don't know how much you mean to me. You made me realize who I truly am. Without you, I'd probably still be having girl after girl, hiding my insecurities and confusion. I just…" He trailed off and shrugged.

Wow… Spot was really opening up to me. And it was killing me to see him like this.

"I'm sorry, Spot. I truly am. I can't help it though. You can't help who you like."

"Can't you just, like, stop liking him?"

"It's not that easy…"

He sighed, and nodded. "Yeah… But can you at least try?"

I smiled at him. "I'll try my hardest."

We talked for a little bit more. It seemed like we were making up, but it kinda still felt weird, like the tension was still there. But it was going really well. I finally got the nerve to say something else.

"So, does this mean we're done fighting? Like are we still… still together?"

Spot nodded. "I'd like that."

He leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. You don't understand what I felt as we kissed. The usual spine-tingling chills, yes, but also relief, and most of all, I felt our love. The strong bond we have together, that although we may have differences every now and then, we always overcome them.

When the kiss ended, Spot smiled at me. "I'm sure as hell gonna miss that. Not the fighting part… I mean the kissing part."

"Yeah, me too. But, hey, Muhlenberg is only like two hours away. You can visit me all you want. I wouldn't mind having company sleep over on the weekends."

Spot smirked. "Now that would be fun. …Not to mention all the hot college guys I would get to see."

"Oh, you mean the hot college _guy_ you would see… meaning me, right?" I said, teasing him.

"Actually, no. I meant all the other hundreds of hot college guys."

I raised my eyebrows and 'glared' at him, who glared back. After a few seconds of a 'glaring' contest, we both cracked up laughing. It felt so good to break that tension that had been in that room with a few jokes. And well, that kiss….

_Ahem._

Anyway, one month to go. But I'm gonna make sure that this month is spent having fun – and not fighting – with Spot. I am determined now more than ever to make our relationship work.

Well, that's about it. Later!

Racetrack

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**A/N:** Did you really think I'd keep them broken up for more than a chapter? Hehe… 

Anyway, thanks to my loverly fans on the NML, this fic was voted BEST SLASH in the 2004 NML awards! I LOVE YOU ALL! hehe

And just to tell you all, most likely there will be two more chapters. (Maybe three, as there was supposed to be more that happened in this chappie, like another entry, but I wanted to end it there…) So yeah… This fic is almost done! –parties-

Thanks to **Berri, Bittersweet Dragon, Flit, Air, Saturday, Night, **and **Hopscotch and Link**. I love you guys!

Now, REVIEW!

**-Braids**


	24. Ch 24 Surprises, Surprises

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH 24 – Surprises, Surprises**

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it! And I do not own Newsies. Disney does.

**A/N:** I AM updating this fic! YAY! Hehe… more from me afterwards… Enjoy :)

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**8/5/04**

Just under three weeks left. I can't believe the time is flying by so fast.

Spot and I have completely made up. Everything is fine between us. Well, basically fine… After today's incident…

Oh yeah, and I told Davey.

We were talking online today (for the first time since the argument between Spot and I) and I finally got the courage to actually confess. I'll post the convo here:

**RaceToTheTrack**: Hey Dave, I need to tell ya something important

**WalkingMouth12**: Sure. Go ahead.

**RaceToTheTrack**: Ok, this is kinda hard to say… and I shoulda told ya thing from the beginning…

**WalkingMouth12**: Go on…

**RaceToTheTrack**: Uh… well… I'm gay.

**WalkingMouth12**: Is that all?

**RaceToTheTrack**: …what?

**WalkingMouth12**: Oh, sorry. I kinda guessed that already…. But I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure.

**RaceToTheTrack**: …

**RaceToTheTrack**: how?

**WalkingMouth12**: Duh. I'm bi. My gaydar was going haywire.

My mouth literally dropped at that point. I mean, I may have had a tiny inkling that he _might_ be gay or bi, but I really, never thought it would actually be _true_. The next thing that popped into my head was Spot. We had just fought over Dave and all that shit, and now, Dave is bi. Spot was gonna flip. He would never trust me living there. Hell, I wouldn't even trust _myself_.

At that point, I was so deep in thought that I forgot to IM Dave back. My cell vibrating in my pants jarred me back into reality. It was, of course, Dave.

"Hey. I felt I should call you, seeing as you never answered back."

"Oh yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought I guess."

"Was it that much of a shock? I thought for sure you suspected me."

I laughed. "Actually, no. That was the other way around. You suspected me."

"I told you, I'm excellent at this sort of thing."

I smiled into the phone and relaxed in my desk chair. My eyes scanned the room, landing on a framed photo of Spot and I from graduation. I knew I needed to tell Dave. Now. "Uh, Dave? There's something else I want you to know about me."

"What, you're really a girl?"

"Ah ha. No. I just wanted you to know I had a boyfriend as well."

"Cool. As do I."

We talked for another half an hour or so, comparing boyfriends. I swear, we sounded like two thirteen-year-old girls gossiping at lunchtime. But I didn't care. I told him everything, for once being totally honest with him. I told him all about Spot, the infamous New Year's incident, our first 'real' kiss in the snow, even everything about being kicked out of my house and living with Spot.

In return, he told me all about his boyfriend, Swifty. He's a star track runner, and will be going to Gettysburg College (1), about an hour or so away from Muhlenberg. That means he will be visiting a lot. Not that I would mind though, as Spot is gonna visit as much as possible… Anyway, we got off the phone because he had to go to a party with his friends.

After that conversation, most of the worries about trusting myself around Dave had vanished. Now I needed to talk to Spot to make the rest disappear.

I found Spot downstairs on the couch, watching TV. He didn't see me come in, so when I sat down next to him, he was startled.

"Oh hey. What's up Race?"

"I, uh… I talked to Dave."

"And?"

"I told him. Everything."

Spot actually smiled. "Thank you. How'd he take the news?"

"He wasn't surprised…" I nervously went on. "Because, uh, because he's bi."

His eyes dropped. "…Oh…"

God dammit. I hated seeing him like this. "Spot… trust me. Nothing will happen. He has a boyfriend. Please, don't do this."

"Race, how did you _think_ I would act? We just had a fight over the fact that you liked this guy and now… I'm just supposed to smile and be okay with this?"

"It's not like it's _my_ fault!"

And we were back to fighting. I hated it. I hated fighting with Spot.

We hadn't been shouting at each other long (basically a minute or so) when Mrs. Conlon interrupted us. She peaked her head into the room. "Boys, please. I have a headache. No shouting matches." And the she left.

After that, we kinda just stood there, staring at each other, not knowing what to say. Spot broke the awkwardness after what seemed like an eternity (although in reality it was only about a minute.)

"Race, I'm… I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "I should be the one saying sorry."

"No, like you said, it's **not** you're fault. You couldn't help any of these things from happening."

"Well, most of them." I smiled. "Can we just, like, stop fighting all the time though?"

"I want to. I really, really want to. I'm sorry. I overreacted. It's just… Race, I don't wanna lose you. And now, knowing that Dave is bi…" He trailed off for a second, the continued. "I know that I can trust you. It's just… in the back of my mind, the worst possible thing can be imagined and I guess it kinda got away from me."

"It's ok. No more fighting, okay? Until I go away? Promise me that."

Spot kissed me quickly, pulled away slightly, said, "Promise," and then immediately pulled me into another, deeper kiss.

God, am I going to miss that.

…Well, anyway, that's about it for today's news.

Later!

Racetrack

**8/11/04**

Oh my god. Wow. And just… yeah. No words to describe this.

Here's what happened.

Today started out like any other normal summer day. Spot and I got up around noon, drove to Ortley Beach around one, met the gang on the beach, and had fun all day. We left around five to go home. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Until around seven o'clock.

Spot and I had agreed to baby-sit Hailey while Mrs. Conlon went out with some friends. That meant Hailey was watching some dumb show on the Disney Channel, and Spot and I were innocently spooning on the couch.

Then, the doorbell rang.

"I guess I'll get it," Spot said, when no one made an attempt to answer it. He got up and went to the front door. A few moments later, Spot appeared again, looking a bit frazzled. "Uh… Race? Come here."

I was curious, so I followed him. When I saw who was in the foyer, I immediately froze in my tracks. The one person I expected **_least_** and loathed the **_most_** was standing in the Conlon's entryway.

Yes. My _mother_.

She was holding a huge box filled with random things, which at a closer look, I recognized to be things of mine I had forgotten at home.

"Tony," she said, breaking me out of my still-frozen form.

"What da hell do you want, mom?" I spat back harshly at her.

She closed her eyes for a second than answered quietly and gently (yes, gently), "I deserved that harsh tone."

My mind reeled. "_WHAT?_"

My mother quickly changed subjects. "You may have noticed the 'For Sale' sign outside." I snorted, muttering 'no shit' under my breath. She didn't seem to notice, and continued on. "Well, Denton and I are moving on Tuesday. I was packing things and came across this stuff. Here." She handed me the box. "These belong to you."

I deposited the box on the ground, and faced my mother. I still didn't know why she was being so nice to me. So I asked her.

"Uh, Mom? What's with the sudden change? Why are you all of a sudden nice and civil to me?"

She nervously toyed with what I perceived was Denton's engagement ring before answering. "Honestly? I don't know. I still find it morally wrong, because two men together is just… disgusting." She paused for a second. I clenched my fists at my side, my anger rising inside me. I could see Spot doing the exact same thing as well. She finally continued. "But… I did realize something."

"Oh yeah? And what is that?" I asked, bitterly.

She looked at me square in the eyes. "You are my son. It shouldn't matter to me whether you like girls or boys. I'm supposed to love you unconditionally."

My mouth literally hit the floor. She just realized this _now_? "Are you serious?"

My mother nodded slowly. "I guess it's a little too late, though."

"Only about eight months too late." Spot snapped at her. I glared at him to keep quiet. He shrugged. "I know, I know. Sorry. But it's true!"

"Yes it is. Kicking you out of our house was the worst decision I have ever made. And I'm sorry Tony. I truly am. Can you forgive me?"

I flipped on her. "Forgive you? Are you out of your mind? After all that you put me through the past year?"

She looked like she was about to cry, but nodded. "I know. I deserve that too." She walked over to me and hugged me. I flinched at her touch, and didn't even try to hug back. She leg to and looked at me again, tears now in her eyes

Even thought she had apologized and was crying, I still couldn't totally forgive her. Not after what she had done to me.

"Maybe you can forgive me in time?" she said, her eyes pleading with me one last time.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

She nodded again and sighed. "Goodbye then, Tony. Oh, and Spot? Please thank your mother for me. For everything. And I'm sorry again." With that, she walked out the Conlon's door.

I stood there, staring at the door, still not fully believing all that had happened.

Spot tapped me on the shoulder after a few minutes. "Are you okay?"

"No. Not really… But I will be. I just… Can I be alone for a little while?"

He smiled and kissed me before answering. "Sure. I'll be down here with Hailey if you need to talk."

And that leaves me to now. I still can't believe it. My _mother_, the source of my hatred, actually apologized. And I didn't forgive her. Because, I mean, how could I? She kicked me out and then torments me just because I am gay. So what that she had a change of heart. No mother does that to her son.

Oh well.

On another note, two weeks (exactly!) till college starts. I need to start getting things ready.

I'm gonna go downstairs to watch a movie with Spot now. And of course, Hailey too. Later.

Racetrack.

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(1) Gettysburg College- My top choice of colleges! hehe...

**A/N**: woot! Another chapter done!

Two. Count them. TWO more chapters left!

And yeah… Sorry for the lack of updates.

And another thing… Because I _know_ I won't update before then, it is two weeks till my birthday! (April 21st. 17 BABY! And I can DRIVE!) AND also two weeks till Gabe Damon's birthday (April 24th). So sing Happy Birthday to me AND Spot! hehe…

**ShoutOuts**

**BitterSweetDragon**: hehe! Yay for make-up kisses! lol thankies!

**StrawberriShake**: BERRI! –glomps- you are the best. I love you! ( carrot 2 you! ((cuz ffn wont let me make the symbol)) hehe)

**Sara**: SARA! History class is AMAZING. And YAY for making you write slash. (ps- FINISH YOUR FIC. And POST it. It's good!) hehe…

**Air**: hehe yes, I actually updated! Lol.. Thanks for the review!

**Hopscotch and Link**: sadly, yes. Two chapters left! -tear- lol Thanks!

**Bec**: yay! Thankies for the review!

**Sloane Miette**: hehe Davey is a great plot twist, don't ya think? Lol thankies!

And now the moment you have all been waiting for… it's REVIEW time!

And I'm off!

**-Braids**


	25. Ch 25 One Last Adventure

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH 25 – One Last Adventure**

**Disclaimer**: Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it. And I do not own the Newsies.

**A/N**: yes, I'm finally updating! More from me afterwards. Enjoy :)

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**8/20/04**

My room looks like a bomb hit it. No really… it actually looks that bad. Clothes are everywhere. There is less than a week till I go to college, and I'm _trying_ to pack.

…But it's not going to well. I keep getting interrupted.

I started dumping drawers yesterday morning. But of course, I didn't get time to do anything. Mrs. Conlon barged into my room within fifteen minutes and told me we are going to buy bins and shit that I would need for my dorm. Yeah. That was _loads_ of fun, lemme tell ya.

When we got back to the house, I had a feeling that something was up, but I didn't say anything. I dumped all the things she bought for me at Target in my room, and tried to organize my clothes so I could pack. Again, I only got a little bit done before being interrupted by Spot. This time, it wasn't to go shopping.

"I know you really want to pack but… It's really hot out, and Hailey wants to go swimming. Do you wanna take a break and go in the pool with us for a bit?"

I looked up at him, standing in the doorway in just his swim trunks, in all his shirtless glory. Yes, he really does know me too well. I sighed and threw the jeans I was folding aside. "How could I say no to that?"

Spot smiled. "Good. Get dressed. I'll wait in the hall." He shut the door, and I grabbed the nearest bathing suit I could find and changed into it. Took me like two minutes. Then I managed to somehow find a way out of my room through a tiny cleared pathway of my floor, to find Spot waiting by the stairs.

"That was fast," he remarked, smirking.

"Yeah, shut up. Where's Hailey?"

"Already outside. Come on, let's go."

I followed him downstairs and out onto the deck by the pool. Hailey was nowhere to be seen.

"Uh, Spot? Where's…"

"SURPRISE!"

I jumped as all of my friends came out from behind the pool fence. "What's all this?"

Spot smiled at me. "You're the first of all of us to leave for college… so we all decided to throw a going-away bash for everyone. And we thought it would be fun to play a trick on you."

I laughed. "Of course I'm the guinea pig."

"You always are." Spot gave me a quick and than motioned something to the guys. "Ok, are you ready?"

"For what?"

"This!" Blink yelled, as he, Spot, Jack, Skittery, Mush, Snitch, Dutchy, and Specs grabbed me and threw me into the pool. I came up coughing, as I wasn't expecting that.

"You guys are DEAD!" I shrieked, pulling myself out of the pool, running toward my now hysterically laughing group of friends.

"Oh really?" Spot asked, dodging the first of my lunges, taunting me. "There's eight of us and one of you. Do you really think you'll catch us all?"

"No. I ain't dumb. Right now I'm only concerned with getting one specific person."

"Oh yeah? And who is that?" he said, dodging my grab for him.

"Who the fuck do you think?" I said, laughing as I chased after him and around the pool. "You, stupid ass."

Spot jumped over a lounge chair, kicking it over, blocking my path. "Me? Like you can really catch me, Shortie."

"Shortie?" I retorted, jumping over the chair, trying my hardest to catch him, but not doing so well because I was laughing so hard. "I'm only like, an inch shorter than you. You can't you that as an insult when you're short too!"

"I may be short, but I _am_ taller than you are, Shortie!"

Suddenly, an idea hit me. I stopped running, as did Spot only a few feet away from me, right next to the edge of the pool. "Fine, _Oh Tall One_, I give up. I can't catch you."

"HAH! I won! I won!" he chanted, doing a 'victory dance.'

I snickered as I silently crept toward him. When I was within arms reach of him (he was still dancing and was oblivious to my movement), I said something. "Yeah, right. Like I'm really gonna give up that easily."

With that, I shoved him with as much strength as my short body could muster. He screamed loudly and fell into the pool with a very ungraceful splat. Everyone around me cracked up.

Spot surfaced, sputtering, and immediately started 'yelling' at me. "I HATE YOU RACE!"

I just laughed. "Revenge is so sweet."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Can you at least help your _boyfriend_ out of the pool?"

…Ok, I admit it. I fell for that.

I nodded and held my hand out for him to grab. And, just like you probably guessed, he pulled me right back into the pool.

I know. I'm really stupid to have fallen for that overdone trick. What can I say? I'm really dumb sometimes.

Overall, the party was extremely fun. Spot got dunked, oh about fifty times. But I really shouldn't brag, seeing as dunked me about forty-nine times.

Anyway, the party went on into the night. People started leaving around midnight. That's when it hit me.

This was probably the last time all my friends would be together before college. Everyone is going to different schools, some closer than others, but still pretty far away.

I've heard from people that once you go to college, your high school friends tend to drift away. I don't want that o happen. My friends are the best anyone could ever ask for.

Ok, I'll cut the sentimental crap now.

And I really should finish packing…

Later!

Racetrack

**8/25/04**

Holy crap. I leave for college in less than a day… in literally like eight hours. And I've never been away from home for more than a week.

Ok, technically I've been away from 'home' for a while now, but you know what I mean.

I always had these fears in the back of my head, but now that college is a meager couple of HOURS away, I'm scared as shit. I mean, I know there's gotten be some people who will like me, and I know college students are normally more open-minded about gays, but still… What if there's another Brady-type guy there? But at least I know I have one friend already – Davey.

At North, I knew my surroundings and my friends, who I've known for a practically a lifetime, are right there. At Muhlenberg, the closest one of those friends is a good fifty hundred miles away. And I don't even have Spot with me. Yes, I know he's gonna visit me like almost every weekend, but really. He's been my next-door neighbor for basically my whole life, and I've lived _with_ him for the past half of a yea. I don't know what I'll do without him in college. I know I'm gonna miss him.

Especially after today…

Well, I still had a tiny bit of last minute packing to do this morning. (Read: I had only one small bag packed. Everything else was still on my floor.)

"Hey Race, do you…. Holy shit," Spot stopped short as he entered my room. "I thought you said you were basically packed."

I scanned my room with my eyes, and then shrugged. "I am."

"Bullshit. There's more clothes on your floor than there is in your bags. You've been 'packing' all week and this is all you have done? Move over, I'm taking over."

And he did. He put everything in my suitcases within an hour. Don't ask me how but he did. (Mostly by just throwing things in. I was trying to be at least a little organized, but that obviously didn't work.)

Then came packing the car…

Mrs. Conlon's car is a little two-door Miata, and it doesn't fit shit. So there we are, trying to fit four duffel bags, three bins filled with random other shit, and a TV into the car.

Yeah. Didn't happen.

We finished putting in the last bag when Spot realized something. "Uh, Race? Don't you and I have to fit in the car too?" he asked, referring to the fact that the backseat and the passenger seat were all full of my stuff and there was no room for either of us to sit.

I looked at the car, and then looked back to Spot. We stared at each other for a few seconds, before cracking up.

What were we supposed to do now?

Eventually, we working things out… We moved a few bags into Spot's car. Mrs. Conlon would drive up in her car, and Spot would drive me up in his. I was glad for that.

Anyway, after we finally finished, it was dinnertime. Mrs. Conlon made a big deal about this being my last day 'home' until fall break, so she brought Spot, Hailey, and I out to dinner (using Spot's car, obviously) at my favorite restaurant, Craig's.

All throughout the meal, I kept thinking how much Mrs. Conlon and Hailey have become family to me. She's been there for me, through thick and thin. I really don't know where I would be without her. And of course, Hailey is the little sister I never had.

Ok, I'm stopping before I get into another 'mother-rant.' Because even though she 'apologized,' I still don't like her.

Moving on. Dinner was nice. I had my favorite dish, Craig's famous bacon-cheddar-cheeseburger and curly fries. Then we stopped at Coldstone on the way home for an ice cream. Oreo Overload… yummy.

Once we got home, I was pretty tired and wanted to go to bed, but Spot had other plans.

"Get off your ass. You're coming with me."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Spot smirked at me.

He led me to his car. Once we went over the bridge, I knew exactly where we were going. The beach. We got there just as the sun was starting to set.

"Race," Spot said, entwining out hands as we started to walk on the sandy beach, "I just want you to know that I love you."

I looked into his clear blue eyes and smiled. "And I love you too."

Cue the romantic kissing on the beach while the sunsets.

Yes, I know that sounds like so cheesy, but I swear it happened.

Afterwards, I had to say this. "Uh, Spot? You know how you just acted, all mushy and romantic and shit like that, could really ruin your 'tough-guy' rep?"

He 'glared' at me. "If you tell anyone I was all lovey-dovey, I'll kill you Higgins."

I laughed and teased him. "Come back my lovey-dovey baby, and coochie-coo with me."

"You know I am serious, right? I _will_ kill you!"

"I know. That's why I'm running!" And I took off, just as he was about to grab me.

Since I was in the lead, I ran towards the water. Once I was at the shoreline, where the waves come in and out, I stopped short and turned around. Spot wasn't paying attention, and ran right into me and fell into the water.

"Higgins," he said, splashing me from where he said in the little puddle of ocean water, "now you are extremely dead!"

"Aw how cute! My cutey-wooty Spotty is gonna kill me by splashing water at me – Hey, that was my eyes!" I shrieked, for he had just splashed the salty water into my face.

Spot took advantage of my moment of hesitation of whipping my eyes to pull me down, where I proceeded to land right on top of him. (I really think that was his plan…)

So there we were, on top of each other, just staring into each other's wet faces, with the freezing-cold Jersey ocean water all around us.

"Spot, I'm really gonna miss you."

"Oh, _now_ who is the one getting all mushy," Spot teased me.

I splashed him. "Shut up. It's just… for the past few years, I've been either right next door or right down the hallway from you, and tomorrow, I'm not even gonna be in the same state with you. I'm just scared, that's all."

Spot kissed me quickly. "I'm scared too, even though I'm not going away. But don't worry. We'll make it work. I'm gonna make sure we do. I love you to much to have us fail."

"I know. I love you too."

And we proceeded to make-out while still laying on the sand with the water coming in and out. God, I'm so going to miss those kisses…

Eventually, we got up, dried off, and went back to the house to sleep.

Which I can't do. It's two am right now. Too much nerves and excitement to sleep.

We leave in seven hours. Holy crap.

Racetrack

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**A/N**: I'm semi-happy about this chapter. Spot's a little OOC, I know, but yeah… lol

**ONE CHAPTER LEFT!** I will try my hardest to have this fic finished before the end of June, but I am not promising anything. Especially with summer starting now. hehe.

**Shout-outs**

**Flit**: NO! Don't kill Swifty! lol Thankies!

**Air**: hehe I can just see the little jig you did… lol Thanks!

**Sloane Miette**: rambling is fun :) hehe thanks for the review!

**Hopscotch and Link**: Thanks! Glad ya liked it :)

**Strawberri Shake**: BERRI! Thank god you're alive now! hehe. I missed you! Carrot-2! Lol

**Fait aka Taps**: hehe. no artistic license. There's a Seaside and the boardwalk in Jersey… I live like ten minutes from it! lol thankies!

**Anti IRONY**: loved the random reviews! Hehe thankies!

**Bittersweet Dragon**: hehe thankies for the review!

**Kendra**: you missed a lot! Oh no! lol.. thankies!

**Sara**: -glomps- yeah, I know you read this already in class… but oh well. I LOVE YOU!

**Gracie**: You technically didn't review, but you still get a shoot-out because you read this (and scream at me to update) with sara in history. Hehe. Love ya!

Okies, REVIEW TIME :) Coldstone's Oreo Overload ice-cream to anyone who reviews! Hehe (I love bribing… lol)

**-Braids**


	26. Ch 26 Miles Apart

**THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS – Ch 26 – Miles Apart**

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it. And I don't own the Newsies. And Yellowcard owns the title song.

**A/N:** Wow, this update took me pretty long… anyway, without any further a due, the conclusion of TJORH.

* * *

**8/25/04**

I made it. I'm finally in college. And so far, no worries. I just got back from the first hall meeting, where me met our R.A., the rest of our hall mates, and went over the rules. Tomorrow is another day full of orientation stuff. What fun. Heh.

Right now, I'm writing this from my dorm. Davey is here as well, across the room, hooking up his computer. I'll get to him later… but let's start at the beginning…

After finally managing to fall asleep (I think somewhere around four AM), my alarm rang way to early for my taste at seven-thirty. Mrs. Conlon was already up, and was downstairs cooking her famous chocolate chip pancakes, way too perky for seven-thirty AM.

Of course, Spot was still sound asleep. I decided to play the evil guy and do the honor of waking him up (never easy, lemme tell ya…).

I opened his door and silently crept into the room. His petite frame was sprawled our across his double bed, peacefully sleeping. I took one took at him and smiled. Oh yeah, he's gonna _love_ me!

From where I stood by his door, I quickly ran into the room and took a flying leap onto his bed, landing right on top of him.

"HIGGINS!" Spot yelled, his voice muffled under me, "Get your fat ass off of me! I'm _trying_ to sleep!"

"Heh. I'm not fat. And you're awake now, so get out of bed. There's pancakes waiting downstairs.

Spot sat up. "Pancakes? My mom never makes pancakes unless…" his voice trailed off and face fell as he remembered. "You're leaving today. That's why."

I nodded slowly. "Come on. Get dressed. I'll be downstairs." I gave him a quick kiss, and then left the room and descended the stairs.

Mrs. Conlon made a huge fuss over the fact that this was my last official mean at home before I was, and I quote, 'a big, bad college boy.' But I just wanted her to stop. I mean, she was only being extremely nice and all, it's just that she was making it so much harder for me. Every time she'd say something about me leaving, I'd look at Spot, and that in itself did not help at all. I could see how sad he was, because his eyes (for once) gave away his emotions.

About an hour later, we were ready to leave. As Spot drove down our street, I took one more glance back at my _real_ house. More and more, that house began looking less like my real one… The Conlon's house was now mine. And I smiled at that thought and turned my eyes back to gaze at Spot.

The car ride there actually wasn't so bad. Traffic was to a minimum, and I was happy for that. And I was so glad I over packed, because it was just Spot and I driving up, and we could goof off and have fun. Which, of course, we did.

The music was always blasted; the bass turned all the way up. The windows were obviously not down, though, because we would have suffocated from the stupid Jersey humidity. And we sung along with the mix of punk, rock, and emo music on Spot's CDs. I did the air guitar, and Spot drummed against the steering wheel.

We didn't really talk most of the ride, and I was fine with that. And if we did talk, it was making fun what we were doing, and the stares we got from the other cars on the rode. But I really didn't care that much, since just being in Spot's company was all I wanted. Plus, we rarely have to have in-depth conversations to enjoy being in each other's company.

Not to say none of that type of conversation didn't happen in the two and a half hour drive. It did. And it was all thanks to a song.

Yellowcard's song "Miles Apart" had just finished, and for the first time, I fully heard the lyrics. Once the song ended, I turned down the volume. Spot protested for a second, but stopped when he saw I wanted to say something.

"What's on your mind, Race?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"That song… it's talking about us."

Spot raised an eyebrow, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Care to elaborate?"

"The lyrics say it all. Everything that is going on and everything I feel." I stopped and sang softly.

"_We'll be miles apart. I'll keep you in deep inside; you're always in my heart. A new life to start, I may be leaving but you're always in my heart._"

Spot smiled at me. "Wow… that _is_, like, dead on."

I snorted. "I've heard that song a million times, but never fully understood those lyrics. But now I do… and it's exactly what is gonna happen with us. You will always be with me, even if it's just in my heart."

"I know. Same with me." He paused, and laughed. "Hey, look who's getting all sappy and lovey-dovey now?"

I slapped him in the arm. "…Shut up…" Spot simply shook his heard, and the cranked the music back up.

And thus ended our in-depth conversation. We quickly fell back into our routine of singing/air guitar-ing/drumming on the steering wheel.

After another forty-five minutes of driving, we finally reached Allentown. I could already see Muhlenberg's signature clock tower in the distance.

We pulled into one of the campus lots. As Spot cut the engine, I thought to myself, _This is it. No turning back now. I'm in college!_

Since Spot drives like a maniac, we had lost Mrs. Conlon's car somewhere still in Jersey. She was still a good hour from Allentown, and that was mostly due to Hailey having to go 'pee-pee' every single time they passed a rest stop.

We decided to move in whatever was in Spot's car while we waited for Mrs. Conlon to get there. I checked in, got my room key, grabbed a duffle bag (and Spot), and started up to my new home.

I was kind of hoping that Davey would already be there, but unfortunately, he wasn't. The room was completely empty. Both beds were lofted, one on either side of the room, with our dressers underneath. Our desks were against the back way, with a window in between them. All in all, a very boring and gray room. But I knew it wouldn't be for very long.

I dropped my duffel bag next to the desk on the right side. "I hereby take over this side," I said to Spot, cracking a smile. He smiled too, but I could see it was a tad bit forced. I sighed, as I started back down the two flights of stairs to get more stuff. I knew this was going to be hard on him.

After a few more trips back and forth to Spot's car, we had brought everything that we had up to my room. We were exhausted and sweating, since there was no air conditioning, and the fan I had brought was, unluckily, in Mrs. Conlon's car.

"Hey Spot, would you mind running to the soda machine in the lobby to get some water?" I asked as sweetly as I could. My water/drinks were also all in Mrs. Conlon's car. "I wanna start unpacking, but I am parched!"

He glared at me. "If only I didn't love you so damn much. You owe me BIG time. Two flights down, two flights up…. You really own me." He kissed me quickly, and then left.

Not even two minutes went by, and the door opened.

Not looking up from where I was, I called out, "What'd you forget?"

A vaguely familiar voice answered back in a talk-sing kinda voice, "Gotta light?"

My head snapped up. "I know you… you're Davey!" (1) I said, breaking away from our Light-My-Candle-type intro, scrambling up to make an actual introduction.

He looked just like he did in the pictures he sent me: unruly curly brown hair, bright blue eyes, and nice smile.

No matter how hard I tried to fight it, the thoughts of 'he's hot' entered my brain. But as fast as they entered, they disappeared, as I reminded myself that we both have boyfriends.

Almost immediately, we found stuff to talk about. We were animatedly discussing how hot it was when Spot entered the room.

"Never fear, Brooklyn is here!" Spot exclaimed, a bit out of breath, but carrying two water bottles.

"Oh thank GOD. Spot, I love you!" I grabbed a water bottle from his hand, chugging half the bottle in one sip.

Spot pouted. "What, no kiss for being your slave?"

I rolled my eyes, but obliged, giving him a small peck on the lips.

Spot saw Dave eyeing us from across the room. "So, I'm guessing that that's Dave?" His voice not betraying the tiny twinge of jealousy still left from our fight.

I nodded. "Spot, this is my roommate Davey, and Davey, this is my boyfriend, Spot."

"Nice to meet you," Dave said, as they shook hands.

"Yeah, you too," Spot said, half heartily.

Suddenly, the door barged open. "Dave, where da hell do you want your stuff?" An Asian guy carrying two duffel bags called out.

"Over there, Swifty," Dave said, pointing to his bed. "And this would be Swifty, my boyfriend. Swifty, that's Race, my roommate, and Spot, his boyfriend."

He seemed like a nice guy. Moments later, Spot's cell went off, indicating his mother had arrived.

Enter more running up and down the two flights of stairs with no AC. And the fan I brought did very little. Yeah. So not fun.

Eventually, everything was unloaded. By that time, though, it was almost four o'clock. And the first orientation festivities (did I really just use that word?) began at four-thirty.

That meant the Conlon's had to leave. Mrs. Conlon was, of course, crying hysterically. She hugged me like there was no tomorrow, but I didn't care. I know she loves me as her son, not just as her son's boyfriend. That means the world to me, knowing that my own mother doesn't truly love me for who I am. And I know I will miss her and her constant cheerfulness as well.

Hailey… She's the little sister I never had. She's such a cute kid. …Although I _won't_ miss her hyper-ness at six o'clock in the morning.

They finally said their goodbyes and left, leaving Spot alone with me. I knew he had to leave within the next half hour, but I didn't want to believe it. It's not like I won't see him… he's gonna visit me as often as he can. But I just didn't want to say goodbye.

He's my best friend, my boyfriend, my brother… everything. And he means so much to me. I really don't know how I'm gonna make it through without him by my side, like he has been all throughout high school.

We were outside the dorms, leaning against his cars, his keys in his hand.

"So…" he started. "I guess this is goodbye. For now, at least."

I half-smiled. "Yeah… but you better get your ass up here to visit me often," I warned, jokingly.

"I will, don't worry. I will. And Davey ain't that bad… I still have a bit of jealousy in me, but I trust you Race. I truly do. And you can bet I will be here a lot."

With that, he leaned in and caught me in a kiss. Not a big, massive, make-out kind of kiss… A genuine, from-the-heart kiss. When we broke apart, I knew I was gonna miss him from the bottom of my heart.

"I love you, Spot," I whispered into his ear.

"And I love you too, Race." He kissed me quickly again, and pulled me into a hug. "Goodbye."

We untangled, and he got into his car. As he drove off, I couldn't help but feel sad.

Ok, I gotta move on now…

The orientation stuff was kind of boring. Met a few interesting people, but nothing special. The hall meeting though…

Everyone on our hall was required to go. There was about twenty-ish people, half guys and half girls.

Mike, our R.A., introduced himself, and told us we were going to go around the room, one at a time, and introduce ourselves telling our name, age, where you were from, and one interesting tid-bit about yourself. As soon as he said that, I knew exactly what I was going to say.

I was kind of in the middle of the circle, right before Dave. Finally, it was my turn.

"Hey. I'm Anthony Higgins, but my friends call me Racetrack, or just Race. I'm eighteen years old, and from Toms River, New Jersey. And my tid-bit about myself is that I'm gay and have a boyfriend."

A quirky girl named Sara called out, "Oh my god! I love gay guys!"

That got a round of 'me too's' from most of the girls and I had to smile. And the guys? They didn't really seem to care. Dave said he was bi as well, and again, no bad reaction. No one said 'fag' under their breaths when we left; no one seemed to glare daggers at Dave and me… They just generally accepted the fact that I was gay.

And from that, I knew that college would be great and I would get along just fine.

That leaves me to where I am now. Davey just finished setting up his computer, and is now uploading various programs onto to. And me? I'm finishing writing my last entry to this journal.

Yes, you read right.

A new chapter in my life has started, so I feel this journal should end as well. I will never forget anything that happened this year, as well as the people it happened with.

And Spot? He will always be in my heart, no matter how many miles apart we are.

So for now, this is Racetrack Higgins, signing off.

-Racetrack

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(1) Rent, anyone? lol

**A/N**: OMG. IT'S DONE. It's really and truly finished. Only took me a year and almost nine months to finish it!

Before I get to the shout-outs, I just want to say a BIG thank you to everyone who's been with this story from the beginning and reviewed almost every single chapter. And especially the people who kept pestering me (whether in real life or online) to update this thing, I love you so much!

Shout Outs 

**Flit**: hehe… You'll have to fight Swifty first! Lol.. Thankies and I love you :)

**Air**: YES I UPDATED! Hehe. Hey! You can't pester me to update anymore! Lol. I love you and thanks a bunch!

**BitterSweetDragon**: Oh man… 50 off at Coldstone? I envy you! Thankies!

**DorkyColaGeek730**: SARA! –glomps- didja see how I added 'sara' in? lol. I finally finished it! hehe. I love you mucho!

**Hopscotch and Link**: -clutches heart- don't dig it out with a spoon, please? I updated! Lol thankies!

**Fait aka Taps**: Sadly, all good things must come to an end! Thanks for the review!

**Nanii**: Don't die on me! lol Thankies so much!

**Two Freakin Awesome Girls**: Thanks SO much for reviewing!

**LateOrliBloomer**: one sitting? WOW! Lol thanks a bunch!

**Queen of Doom**: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

**Sloane Miette**: Ah! Didn't mean to kill you! –takes back the ice cream- lol thanks for reviewing!

Well folks, there you have it. The ending. As much as I hate this fic, I'm sad that it's over. Make me happy one last time… by REVIEWING!

**-Braids**


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